New York DJ

Many of the couples who hire us to DJ their wedding are firm in their demand that the DJ not play the "same old stuff" during their reception. They don’t want to hear only Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin at cocktail hour, don't want sappy Top 40 love songs from the '80s at dinner, and, while they usually don't mind a few "party favorites" by Michael Jackson or Earth, Wind & Fire to get all ages onto the dance floor, they don’t want to hear stale oldies and disco all night, either. Of course, we're very happy to comply with their insistence on avoiding clichés and making a wedding not feel generic.

Yet when it comes to ceremony music, many of these couples' musical adventurousness dries up. They think that for the ceremony, the DJ should only play music written before 1800. In other words, they think you have to only play classical.

When we encounter this expectation, we tell couples to simply choose music that they feel comfortable with – we tell them it's your wedding and the music should reflect in some way the spirit of both of you, not the opinion of some article on a wedding guide website. (Of course, when that website is a blog like this one that tells you to think outside the box of those wedding guide websites, please, then make sure to very seriously consider the opinion.)

It's nothing against ol' Pachelbel or Vivaldi; we enjoy DJ-ing classical music and think it's refreshing to play. If classical is what you want, we’re happy to oblige. If you need ideas, we'll suggest a range of classical, from the more familiar baroque style of Pachelbel and Vivaldi, to classical-esque compositions from film scores. A recent example of a film music suggestion we offered that a couple used in their ceremony was a track from the soundtrack of the 1980s movie The Mission, scored by the legendary film composer Ennio Morricone.

But if you're thinking you have to use classical because "that’s what everyone else does" or "that's just what you do," we urge you to think about what you would like to hear, and not be concerned about what you believe parents or relatives or friends will think feels too casual or eccentric. If they really care about your wedding, they’re not going to be offended if you don’t use Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" (informally, that's the "Here Comes the Bride" melody) during the processional.

So, what are the less traditional options for ceremony music? Well, pretty much anything that you enjoy and would feel comfortable having played while you walk up the aisle and back down it. We'd also suggest that for the processional, the music have a bit of a lush, grand and pretty quality to it – most couples, even those who have firm non-traditional musical tastes, likely don't want the music at this moment to feel creepy, neurotic, or too aggressive. For the recessional, music of a more celebratory, more festive feel seems to fit very well – often this means an upbeat pop song (old or new, of course) can work perfectly.

This leaves things amazingly wide open – we've DJ-ed ceremonies where couples used orchestral-sounding pop songs by mainstream artists (Bjork, Coldplay) for their processionals, and their families did not have heart attacks! For recessionals, we've played music as varied as synthpop, '60s soul, and classical music arrangements of classic rock songs. Other suggestions of ours in the spirit of thinking a little differently when it comes to ceremony music – whether pre-processional, processional or recessional – include mellow indie rock, alt-country, folk, excerpts from jazz songs (or entire jazz songs), and classical pieces that have been remixed with beats underneath.

Ultimately, the important thing is to consider the ceremony music just as you might music for dinner and dancing – first and foremost, think about what music feels closest to your energy as a couple, and then go from there.

In a recent post introducing the Monroes’ song “What Do All the People Know,” I mentioned that due to about a decade-and-a-half of ’80s nights at dance clubs, as well as “flashback lunch” radio programs being commonplace now for about ten years, it seems harder and harder to hear a song from the ’80s that you loved to dance to but truly forgot about since.

Well, we’ve dug around on iTunes and put together a mix of 25 songs from the ’80s that we’ll bet many of you haven’t heard since you owned the song’s 12″ or cassingle (now there’s a word for those of you who remember the late ’80s!). And even if you have heard some of these since their heyday, we’ll bet that you’ll think they’re still fresh, and that you haven’t heard many of these songs on the radio during your lunch break, or even at the typical ‘80s club night.

Included here are mostly underplayed mainstream songs from the decade, with a nod to freestyle (Noel’s “Silent Morning”), hi-energy (Company B’s “Fascinated”) and R & B (Oran Juice Jones’ “The Rain,” Ready for the World’s “Oh Sheila”). Mixes of underplayed songs from other ’80s genres, like rap/hip-hop, hard rock/heavy metal, and alternative/underground pop, may be forthcoming but here we concentrated on mostly radio hits and dance club pop.

Some standout tunes on this iMix include the bright, faux-jazzy charm of “Breakout” by Swing Out Sister (the single’s cover is pictured); the sublime Motown-esque groove of “Town Called Malice” by The Jam; and, doing their best New Order imitation, Kon Kan with “I Beg Your Pardon” – a song that will surely give you that exhilarating shot of first-time nostalgia for it, as it was huge on the dance floors at the end of the ’80s, yet it has been undeservedly all but forgotten since.

Go here to listen to the mix.

Recently, on iTunes, we completed our iMix collection of indie wedding songs. As I have explained in posts describing the previous 7 entries in the collection, the tunes in these last 3 mixes cover a range of "wedding moods," with some songs appropriate for first dances, some for atmosphere during dinner or cocktail hour, and some you could use for a less traditional take on ceremony processional and/or recessional music. (Go here to see my posts on the previous mixes in the collection.) What unites all the songs we’ve picked in this whole collection of about 200 songs is simply that they’re all great to help craft a soundtrack for a wedding that features eclectic and unusual pop and rock which often explores romance from a less mainstream, more fresh point-of-view.

Some standouts on mix 8 include the breezy ramshackle sound of "Scythian Empires" by Andrew Bird; "I Love How You Love Me," Camera Obscura’s lovely minimalist version of an oldies pop song made popular by Bobby Vinton and the Paris Sisters; and a pair of classic alternative tunes from the ’80s that influenced today’s indie rock, "Just Like Honey" by the Jesus and Mary Chain, and "A Strange Kind of Love" by former Bauhaus lead singer Peter Murphy. Go here for mix 8.

Much of Mix 9 nods back to some of the influencers of today’s indie rock and pop, such as The Blue Nile’s "Saturday Night," an orchestral pop song so sweeping and cinematic you’ll see visions of black and white movie lovers in your head; the tender lullaby feel of The Innocence Mission’s "Happy, The End"; and the romantic jazz club feel of Fairground Attraction’s "Allelujah," which glides along so gently and elegantly on the silky vocals of Eddi Reader (the song is featured on the band’s excellent but relatively obscure album The First of a Million Kisses, cover pictured). Go here for mix 9.

Finally, mix 10 largely retuns to the acoustic feel of our first mix in the collection. Included on this last mix is a stripped-down, acoustic guitar cover of Peter Gabriel’s "In Your Eyes" by Matt Ketteman and Cameron Mizell, which conjures a Mark Kozolek/Red House Painters-like haunting prettiness from the instantly-recognizable melody; the clean, soaring vocals and shimmering acoustic guitar on Alison Krauss’s "Simple Love," and ex-Velocity Girl singer Sarah Shannon’s sweet, loungey tune "Along the Way." Go here for mix 10.

Among many other image problems (which I’ve previously described how to avoid when hiring a DJ; go here to see these posts), we’ve noticed that unfortunately, the mobile DJ typically considered for events such as weddings or corporate parties is seen by clients as often being abrasive and stubborn: He (let’s be honest, it’s usually a he) is a DJ who wants to play his kind of harsh-sounding or cheesy music all night, he wants play it loud all night, and he doesn’t want to hear your stupid requests during any part of the night.

Okay, so this is a bit of an exaggeration. We all know that all mobile DJs aren’t this obnoxious. However, in our years of meeting clients, we’ve heard many, many of them complain about coarse, meathead DJs. So beware, they’re definitely out there. But that doesn’t mean you have get stuck with one. Here’s a few tips on how to determine if you might be meeting with an insensitive DJ, or, instead, someone who’s a lot nicer, reasonable, and more professional:

1) Make Sure the DJ is Versatile: Most DJs are excellent in one or two genres of music, but events like corporate parties or weddings typically last four to six hours, with half of that time often involving dancing. And since these crowds are not like dance club crowds who usually come on a certain theme night to dance to one or two kinds of music, a lack of variety at a corporate party or a wedding reception will quickly get boring. Guests at these events want the DJ to switch it up, to not get stuck too long in any genre. Often we find that it’s this smooth progression from one music type to another throughout the night that increases the energy at an event. It is therefore important to ask the DJ about what genres he feels are his or her strengths, and if he or she mentions many, stress that you will want to him or her to definitely use them.

2) Make Sure the DJ is Willing to Integrate Your Requests Into His/Her Playlist: If the DJ convinces you he or she is versatile, that’s a good start. But this won’t matter if he or she is only willing to play what he or she wants to hear or feels is “cool.” Not suprisingly, DJs tend to have a lot of opinions about music, and many of them hold some genres in high regard, and think quite less of others. Make sure you tell the DJ that you expect if hired that he or she will leave any pretentious attitude and/or even many of their personal "pet" musical preferences that won’t fit into the event at the door. Tell the DJ you expect him or her to try to their best to smoothly integrate your music vision with what he or she thinks will work to pump up your kind of crowd. (Of course, expect any self-respecting DJ to wrinkle their nose, outright laugh, or try to steer you away from your musical vision if that vision includes requesting universally lame and cringeworthy music, like ’70s soft rock, or New Age Jazz.)

3) Make Sure the DJ is Comfortable With Last-Minute Playlist Changes: DJs, of course, like to build a groove on the dancefloor, and many talented DJs will have a loose sense of what kind of music or mood they want to start with, and what kind of music or mood they want to end with for your event. This is a great strategy and instinct, but, again, corporate events or weddings are not as seamless and interruption-free as a night at a dance club, or even as a night of DJ-ed music at a bar. Often, several times at a wedding or a corporate party, a song will suddenly need to be played that the guests want, and this will get in the way of the DJ’s flow. Whether it’s a big group of employees who suddenly want their guilty pleasure ‘80s hair metal power ballad played, or a bride’s sudden demand to spin a classic big band tune to dance a foxtrot to with her uncle, the sudden, out-of-left-field request is a commonplace occurrence the DJ needs to be prepared for, and comfortable with. Thus, you as the client need to emphasize to the DJ that there will likely be some of these moments during your event, and then make sure to pay attention to his or her response. If you notice a bit of decline in the DJ’s enthusiasm, you may be in trouble. If you see a poker face, press the DJ a bit more to feel out their thoughts about this. If the DJ tells you that they expect this sort of thing, since the night is about you and not them, then you’re getting somewhere.