New York DJ

In the previous post on this subject, we covered how to determine if you need a day-of wedding coordinator – a planner whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, that any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly, and any emergencies that pop up are overcome. If you’ve decided that you indeed do need a day-of coordinator, here’s how to make sure you get a good one, and, more specifically, someone who’s going to be able to execute the vision of your wedding beyond just making things a basic and stiff event, like the old album cover art below suggests.

First, just a word about why we – a group of DJs – are writing this, and feel we can comment with authority: Over our years of experience performing at weddings in New York City and the surrounding area we’ve seen that there’s so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional formal (and many would say stuffy) wedding. Because we’ve performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

Again, in the first post on this topic we covered how to know if you need a day-of person. So, here we go with our second post: how to ensure you hire a wedding planner who knows what she or he is doing:

1) Experience Matters, But Not Just Any Experience – Of course, most of you will know that you’ll want a day-of planner with a good amount of experience at this kind of work. But many couples don’t think further than this, and you should. Specifically, make sure that the day-of person you hire has experience at executing a wedding schedule that is like the one you are having – be it for the same size wedding, with the same style, and at the same kind of location. For example, if your wedding tends to be on the less traditional end of the spectrum and you don’t want certain components of the “usual” wedding such as a bridal party introduction, an announced entrance at the start of the reception, or a cake cutting, you want to make sure the planner has practice executing these kind of more eclectic timelines with ease and smoothness, and not defaulting to the more “standby’ schedules by the end of the wedding because they feel the wedding “needs it”, since that’s all she or he is used to seeing at a reception. To ensure you find out what kind of experience a wedding planner has, you shouldn’t have to dig too deeply. A phone call or email exchange can be sufficient to find this out, and if you get to the stage of an in-person interview, make sure to ask the planner what kinds of weddings they feel most comfortable planning, and which kinds they’ve been a part of the most. Any planner worth their weight in datebooks and PDAs should detail this for you, as well as give you some couples’ references.

2) Get Someone Good With Control, But Flexible, Too – Being an in-control decision maker on the day of the wedding is very important, especially if emergencies pop up, but being too quick to exclude moments thay may occur just to stick to the schedule can often squelch the energy of the event. A good day-of planner will know when to back off and let things flow for a bit. For example, if a guest not on the schedule wants to give a last-minute toast, you want to make sure that the planner will at least ask the couple if this is okay, as opposed to being so concerned with timing that the planner simply tells this guest that it can’t be done. Another example – more close-to-home for us DJs – is when a dance set is scheduled to end for a dinner course but the energy is still high and the dance floor is still full, you don’t want a day-of coordinator who tells the DJ to immediately fade out the song and tell everyone to take their seats. Great day-of planners will be sure to have a quick decisions, but often that decision needs to be to back off control for a bit. So, how do you determine if a planner will have this sort of ability? Asking their references is a good way to find out; asking their boss is another way, if they’re from a larger company. But simply telling them directly hat you expect this(and, if you don’t talk to them much between hire and the day of the wedding, now and then repeating it) is the best way to ensure they keep it in the forefront of their mind on the day of the event . 

3) If Your Day-Of Planner Is a Friend, Be Honest With Yourself - You might know a friend who has some experience with day-of planning, and often this is a way to save money, or just help out a person you like. This is great, but make sure your frugalness and/or altruism doesn’t blind you to the possibility that the friend might not know at all what they’re doing. We’ve DJ-ed weddings before where friends (or friends of friends) have been doing the day-of planning and it quickly became obvious from their running severely behind in the schedule, or from the lack of their presence at key moments in the event, that they were completely overwhelmed. It might be tough, but you should ask these friends or acquaintances directly about their experience, or at least ask others about it. If the friend takes offense to being asked about their background with day-of planning, well, then you already know something about their fragile temperament, and this might make you think again about having them guide the flow of your wedding.

4) Learn the Fine Print About The Planner You Want - When you’ve found a good day-of coordinator you’d like to hire, make sure that you know what you are getting in the deal. If they are good at what they do, chances are they are in demand, and this can bring up a few areas of potential difficulty. For example, a planner like this may charge more for overtime, or may only allow a certain number of consultations for the intial fee. Also, they might double-book during a day, and if yours is the later wedding and there’s traffic on the highway that afternoon, they could be arriving late. We’re not saying these planners aren’t worth their money or that it’s not worth dealing with their busy schedules, but make sure you ask them how available they are before you sign the contract, just so you’re both on the same page.

Now, just in case you’re still thinking of going with the planner you think might not be all that great, in the next post, we’ll cover the reasons why not having any day-of coordinator is better than having a bad one.

While the old wedding music album cover image pictured below might be sweetly anachronistic, most couples' idea of a perfect wedding is not probably not that cliche and storybook-ishly square. But right up until today – whether a couple is planning a celebration that's very formal, more casual, somewhere in between, or entirely unconventional – couples still have a very idealistic image of their wedding day, and with it, what they believe they will need to help make it a reality.

A major piece of helping ensure their vision goes just as they want is the wedding planner. From working with so many couples on their weddings over the years, we've found that those who use or do not use long-term wedding planners have a large variety of reasons for it that are hard to predict – sometimes the couple is having a small wedding, but they're living on opposite coasts and need a "point person" to help bring ideas together. Sometimes there are large weddings that have many unusual elements to them, but the couple doesn't hire a wedding planner because they simply don't want to pay the money, or they get a friend or relative to do the job. In other words, hiring a long-term wedding planner seems to be a decision that often goes beyond what the DJ sees in how he or she helps a couple with their wedding schedules and timelines.

However, it is much easier for us to give you some valuable and some not-too-obvious advice on "day-of" wedding coordinators – planners whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, and so any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly or any emergencies that pop up are overcome. Our experience DJ-ing has taught us that – especially in New York City and the surrounding area – there's so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional, Protestant-ish wedding like the image on the album cover above hints at. Because we've performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

In this post, we’ll cover the first topic: How to determine if you need a day-of coordinator.

1) Take a Step Back From It All - Much of this choice boils down to common sense. But, often that is the first thing to get lost at the start of wedding planning as couples begin contemplating the mountain of preparations needed to pull off a great celebration. Understandably, many couples think that they’d better have some kind of “insurance” that all they’ve been planning for is executed smoothly, and that is where they often start discussing whether to have a day-of person. However, if you take a step back and think about the wedding in term of its size, style, and locations and components, you can often see fairly clearly if you will really need that extra help.

If your wedding is going to be small (we've found that "small" ends at about 100 guests), the style is going to be fairly casual, and the components of the event will be at the same location, it makes sense to think you won’t need to spend the money on a day-of planner, since often the venue will have a maitre'd to oversee the day's schedule, or, if the wedding is really low-key, the job of making sure things stay on-track can be given to a member of the bridal party. However, if the wedding is larger than 100 guests, if there are noise restrictions or other unusual preferences that need to be accounted for, or if there are several atmospheric touches during the occasion (anything from an obscure music set, slideshows, the bride and/or groom's clothing changes, live performers such as dancers, specialty drinks, extensive décor, etc.), then a day-of coordinator will definitely make more sense.

Basically, the important thing here is that if your wedding is going to be big, or if it's going to be small but will have several unusual moments or moments that need to be sensitively choreographed, look into a day-of planner. (Or if you have an existing wedding planner, see if they can be there for the actual day.)

2) Investigate Your Venue's Level of Service - If you think about the type of wedding you want and still are unsure about whether to hire a day-of person, the next area to look at to help you decide is the level of staff service offered at the venue you choose or have chosen. We’ve DJ-ed at venues all over the metropolitan New York City area, and there definitely is a range of how much the maitre'd at a particular venue will be involved in keeping the wedding schedule moving or helping you plan it ahead of your wedding date.

Sometimes there simply is no maitre'd, as certain venues are purely space rentals – these have no staff, only managers, and the managers are rarely on-site for the entire event. Other venues that have a maitre'd may have the type that is more "hands-off" – he or she doesn't get involved in schedule-keeping the day of, only schedule-making in the weeks before so they can make sure their staff gets the food out on time. Lastly, of course, there are venues where the maitre'd is quite involved in keeping everything flowing smoothly, and in a way is the de-facto day-of coordinator.

Therefore, make sure you ask your venue or potential venue what level of maitre'd service they provide when it comes to the day-of the event and its scheduling. If your wedding is a fairly straightforward celebration, this kind of service might be all you’ll need to keep your schedule flowing well.

3) Use The DJ & MC - Finally, the DJ/MC can do offer his or her input to keep help you build a great wedding day schedule, and they can also help keep it on track during the day of the event. Any DJ/MC who just reads your wedding schedule in an email a week before the event and offers no feedback on it, or simply offers to follow it, has likely either not DJ-ed much, or simply doesn’t care enough. Any DJ who truly cares about your wedding will want to at least want to study the schedule you’ve come up with and tell you that it looks good or not. Most of the time, there will be a few minor things on the schedule the DJ might want to tweak to ensure the couple gets the vibe they want – like asking to leave some time for possibly extending an early dance set if a high-energy crowd is anticipated, or, if it's a very informal wedding, giving suggestions on how to not "shine a spotlight" on moments like first dances and cake cuttings, which the venue might have positioned in their timeline to be grander, more "on display" moments.

In almost every schedule we work on with clients, we notice something that we offer advice on. Sometimes the couple or venue have a reason for doing things the way they do, but, because we asked, then we know. But often, the couple and/or venue will listen to us, and will alter the schedule a bit to incorporate our suggestions – which only seek to maximize the mood the couple wants without disrupting the food service and the other elements of the celebration such as speeches, toasts, slideshows, etc.

So, ask your prospective DJ if they are comfortable collaborating a little on the timeline of the day, and also asking them if they have experience doing this, and what that experience has been. We're not saying that the DJ can be a substitute for a day-of planner at very large weddings with an unusual number of special moments, but for smaller weddings, we do find that a DJ that is comfortable with "flowing" a wedding as well as a maitre'd who takes a more hands-on approach to keeping the day on schedule can be enough so a couple doesn't need to spend the money on a day-of planner.

If, after considering these factors, you think that yes, you do need a day-of coordinator, in the next post we’ll tell you how to make sure they’re actually good.