If you’ve decided to have a Hora at your wedding, we've learned from many years of performing at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings that you then need to make sure you consider a few elements for making the Hora successful that we find couples or even wedding planners fail to address – mainly because these factors are so elementary that they're often not thought about during the overall wedding preparation.
(To help determine what type of Hora to have, or other, less-common but still enlivening ways to include Jewish music at your wedding, read Part I of our “Avoiding Hora Drama” post.)
The Hora, as many probably know, is a type of circle dance that usually results in the bride and groom and sometimes other family members being lifted up in chairs. It has long been popular at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings – something evident from the covers of these two vintage mid-century albums of Jewish music pictured. Part of the Hora's appeal is in how simple it is to create, and how suddenly it can provide a burst of festiveness. So, you might think, what preparations does there need to be? Just make sure everyone’s in the reception room, throw on “Hava Nagila,” have guests grab a few chairs, get a few strong guys and the bride and groom, and Mazel Tov! You’re totally partyin', mensch.
Well, the Hora often seems to happen with that impromptu feel, but just because of that doesn’t mean there wasn’t some planning and choices behind it. Here’s what we've found in are the most important elements often overlooked when it comes to the Hora:
1) Do It Before The Guests Are Too Drunk – Many couples don’t realize as much as they should that too much alcohol and heavy bodies being held aloft in chairs for several minutes could be kind of dangerous. So, if you know your guests are the kind who will be drinking a lot through the night, it might be better to get the Hora out of the way early, at the beginning of the reception, while at least the strongest guys are in control of themselves to not drop anyone. If you know the drinking will be lighter, you have a bit more freedom to do the Hora later in the reception, such as after the main course. If you’re not sure about how much drinking will take place, always assume there will be more, just to be safe, and have the Hora earlier – not necessarily as the first element in the reception, but perhaps in between the first courses or at least before the main course. The one timing recommendation that we can say applies no matter what is to never have the Hora much later than right after the main course, the reason being that not long after this, people are usually a bit tipsy and even tired due to a few solid hours of imbibing and dancing.
2) Always Have the MC Announce It – Though most people, especially in and around New York City, know what the Hora is and what to do when it starts, we find that you usually can’t just put on a well-known festive Jewish song like “Siman Tov” or “Hava Nagila” and have guests suddenly rise to their feet and start singing and dancing like the cast of Fiddler on the Roof. An instance comes to mind where, over our polite objections, a wedding planner insisted we not announce the Hora because, who knows, she figured a movie moment like described above could magically happen. Well, we did what she said, and when the song began, the guests looked around, confused. We knew they were thinking something like, so, wait, do we do the Hora now? A moment later, seeing nothing was going to happen without some guidance, we announced the Hora, and just like that everyone got up happily and started to party. The lesson is simple: Guests need to know the Hora is happening when it is about to happen. They may think it is when they hear the familiar opening melody of a song, but because guest usually don’t want assume too much and risk embarrassment, and because the bride and groom or best man don’t have time to ready all the guests on their own, the reception needs a simple announcement that the Hora is about to begin. This also builds a bit of anticipation as people come out to the dance floor, gives guests a moment to round up some chairs and to get the bride and groom ready, and to get any stragglers back from the bar.
3) Consider How Much Hora They’re Going to Want – Though it’s often difficult to predict how long a Hora will last or how wild a Hora will be, it’s important to spend a few moments at least considering it. Think of your guests a bit – is there a group that you know that really loves Hora dances from other celebrations you’ve attended with them? Or are you having the Hora not mostly because you want it but simply to please your parents or other relatives? Do your guests as a whole tend to be a more rowdy group, or do they need some encouragement to let loose? Do the bride's and groom's sides know each other, or is there not much crossover of friend groups between the two sides? Considering factors like this may help you determine how long of a Hora should be played, and if the traditional songs can go deeper than the usual favorites or if there should be simply a quick medley of the most familiar festive Jewish songs. Once you’ve decided on the length and type of songs, or if you simply can’t determine it – you can then, in the case of the former situation, ask if your DJ has the appropriate length and/or song selections you need, or, in the case of the latter situation, make sure the DJ is prepared with a variety of songs to play it by ear and let the MC know to be ready to possibly encourage the crowd a bit if they're a little shy.
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February 23, 2010