New York DJ

Trying to determine if your DJ likes music may sound silly – if they’re DJs, a passion for music, or at least for a few styles of music, is a given, right? Well, unfortunately, it’s not. Over the years of being in the mobile DJ business in the New York City metropolitan area, we’ve seen first hand – and heard from many clients – that often DJs and DJ companies don’t seem to put a lot of attention to diversifying their playlists or taking the time to create an original mix of songs that is both accessible and fresh.

You probably know the kind of DJs I’m talking about – the cheeseball who cracks lame one-liners and wears a “cur-razy” silver sequined suit to incite you to getting up to dance to tired disco hits; or the cooler-than-thou hipster behind the turntables that yes, really knows his one genre of music, but, unfortunately, that’s all he knows, and so he plays it to death all night; or the DJ company that comes with a bunch of “party motivators” dressed in sexy or silly costumes and practically rips you out of your chairs after dinner, bullying you into dancing to a generic mix of recent Top 40 singles.

Yes, these are all things we’ve either witnessed or have had clients witness. Perhaps you have as well. And seeing this kind of thing calls into question that very basic assumption that a DJ actually likes music. If more of them did, maybe they’d be able to switch between genres more impressively, or need less gimmicks to cover up the limp quality of their song selections.

You’d think that even if a DJ or DJ company wasn’t that into the songs and instead more into the entertainment or MCing part of an event, at least they’d put a little time in to freshen up their playlist a bit for the events at which they spin. But this takes a bit more effort – to do it, you often need to meet more than once with a client to learn more about their specific musical preferences, or you need to spend time discovering what songs are popular in a newer or vintage genre that you might not be that familiar with. It’s much easier for these DJs or DJ companies to simply stay in their limited musical comfort zone, or to “help out” lame songs by doing something like having party motivators put on plastic dog masks and bark at guests as the DJ spins “Who Let the Dogs Out.” (Unfortunately, that’s a real anecdote about a DJ company that we recently heard from a client.)

So, to help you find someone who’s actually excited about crafting a playlist for your event instead of relying on a tired, limited, or a one-size-fits-all mix of songs, here’s a few questions you can ask when you interview DJs or DJ companies for your event. We welcome these questions from clients, and the good thing about asking these questions is that after you do, you should know from the DJ’s answers rather quickly whether they’re enthusiastic about music or certain genres of it rather quickly – luckily, passion tends to be hard to fake.

1) Ask The DJ What They Like to Listen to On Their Own – You can quickly find out a little information about a DJs personal preferences if you ask them this question. While they may tell you about songs or artists that you haven’t heard of, or ones couldn’t play at your event (the DJ may even be aware of this and mention it to you, just so you don’t get worried), getting an indication of their private tastes can be a window into seeing how unusually deep they are into a few types of music, or be the start of a slightly too detailed but endearing story about their large vintage record collection that’s threatening to take over their apartment. These answers are both good indicators that there’s a real enthusiasm for music going on there. Or, on the other hand, this question could result in an answer from the DJ about how they really dig the newest popular dance songs, like that new one “Tonight’s the Night” by The Black Guy Peas, and you’ll try to not crack your smile or a laugh since they don’t even realize they got the name of the song and the band wrong. You get the idea – either way, whether the answer’s good or bad, after asking this question you’ll probably have a better idea of what the DJ is more familiar with musically, and what they’re not.

2) Ask Them How They Got Started – This is a great way to see where their experience and motivation is coming from. In the answer, you might get a pleasant story about how the DJ was inspired by how his father would sit down by the record player and share his soul 45s with him when he was a kid. Or, again, on the other hand, you might find out that the DJ mostly runs a computer printer replacement cartridge business but DJs because his brother recently left him with the equipment and song library after moving to Arizona, so hey, why not? Now, this kind of answer doesn’t automatically mean a DJ like that doesn’t enjoy music a lot, but it probably also means that his motivation lies more in seeing entrepreneurship opportunities than it does in crafting an original mix of songs for several hours.

3) Ask Them What They Like Best About DJing – By asking this question, you can often see where a DJ’s specific passions are. Some may tell you they love the preparation of listening to the requests of the client and thinking about how they will likely fit these in with the songs that the DJ already feels will work for that client. Others may tell you they really enjoy that they’ve learned to move around organically between genres of music that one might not think would go together automatically, and in doing this, feel they make guests appreciate songs a little more that they might not have before. Or, some might give you a vague and slightly hesitant answer about how they love “just…playin’ the music…for the crowd…and, you know…just playin’…all kinds of great tunes.” In this case, it’s a safe bet that their passion is simply collecting your check at the end of the event.

In the last two posts on this topic, we discussed, first, how to determine if you need a day-of wedding coordinator, and then, second, how to make sure you get a good one. Here, in our third and final entry, we cover the reasons why a bad day-of person is almost always worse than having none at all, and, if they’re really bad, could even have you shouting the title of the vintage Northern Soul record below: “Please Stop the Wedding!”

Before we break down these reasons, please note that we are discussing only day-of coordinators – not traditional wedding planners who work with clients to arrange their event from start to finish. Here we’re talking about a person who is concerned with scheduling, putting out fires, and making sure things run smoothly on the day or days leading up to the wedding. And, once again, we feel that we’ve got some authority to address this topic since in DJing all types and sizes of weddings in New York City and the metropolitan area for many years, we’ve seen an incredible range of good, so-so, and very bad day-of people, as well as the fact that we ourselves have done wedding planning and schedule coordination on our own.

So, here we go, why a bad day-of person is really a bad thing:

1) The Couple Will Be Paying for Screw Ups – The most obvious reason that it’s worse to have a bad day-of coordinator than none at all is that if they screw things up by, say, forgetting specific instructions from the bride about a last-minute change to the flower arrangements, or for some reason is passionately insisting the DJ play the recessional song while the officiant’s still talking, it could become not just an awkward or uncomfortable moment for the couple and their guests, but it’s also costing money, as most of these coordinators aren’t known to work “pro bono.” But if the couple did things themselves, or allowed vendors you trust to deal with their parts of the scheduling and flow alone, while it might be a little more work, at least they’d have a smoother day, and be saving money.

2) If There’s Not Enough Control, It Puts Last-Minute Pressure On Vendors – If, from the start, vendors are expected to do certain things at the wedding, they’ll know that they need to follow-through. For example, as DJs, if we know that there will be no day-of coordinator, we prepare for a wedding by asking many more questions and making sure to get these answers from the couple about how their wedding will be flowing, and make sure that all is in place for us do act as a de-facto day- of coordinator of the event timeline, as well as being a great DJ and MC. But if we’ve been told all along that there will be a day-of coordinator taking care of this, we might not be as ready for suddenly being put into the role of taking over another job all night, and it could effect and conflict with our expected jobs of DJing and MCing. This example applies to all vendors equally – florists, caterers, the officiant, etc. Invariably, when there’s a day-of coordinator, vendors are told this ahead of time at some point, and vendors assume they can at least use the day-of  person as a “go to” guide during the night. If the coordinator then doesn’t have any authority, or is in over their head, or leaves early or often, the vendors then are left to co-ordinate things themselves, and the event may not run nearly as smoothly.

3) If The Coordinator Is In Control But Inexperienced, It Creates Potential Conflict With Vendors – A good day-of wedding coordinator knows how to balance their authority and expertise on “flowing” a smooth event, but at the same time deferring – when appropriate – to the expertise or insistence of a vendor like a florist, caterer, or a DJ. A bad day-of person will not take advice from a vendor, even if the vendor may be trying to steer the coordinator away from a potential awkward moment for the wedding. For example, we had an experience at a popular city venue recently where the day-of person told us to play dance music so the guests would dance as they came down the narrow and steep staircase from the cocktail area to the reception room. It seemed like she envisioned it to be normal for the guests to be already dancing as they came down the stairs. First, simply from our insurance company’s standpoint, this would be a nightmare. Second, even though it was in the city, this is not a Broadway musical version of a wedding, this is a real wedding! But this day-of person insisted, over our objections, that we do this, so we ended up having to make a potentially contentious executive decision and not do what she suggested. Instead we played bouncy and lively music as the guests entered the room, but not full-on dance music, and the client was happy. We knew they would be, since this is what they had told us they wanted from the start! This kind of dicey situation is also equally applicable to all vendors at a wedding: A bad day-of coordinator may have clunky, or overly-ambitious, or inappropriate ideas – whether it’s simply from inexperience, or from some burning desire to finally use that college theater degree. But wherever it comes from, these misguided notions can often put a vendor’s expertise and loyalty to what the couple said they wanted against what the day-of person suddenly insists the vendor do.

4) Lingering Problems After the Wedding – Okay, so the day-of person was bad, there was a few definite screw-up on her or his part, and now the couple is disappointed and angry. And the coordinator still wants their money. Here’s another battle you’re going to have to fight, good luck! The wedding is over, so shouldn’t the stress be, too? Well, not if the day-of person doesn’t see what they did wrong and you’re demanding money knocked off their fee due to the flubbed moments. This is the last thing you want to be dealing with at the airport as you’re called to the gate to board the flight to your Costa Rica honeymoon. And if your day-of person was a friend and this situation happens, double the stressful feelings. And these might not be stressful feelings over money so much as over something even more serious – the continuing good health of a friendship.

So, what’s a great way to avoid all these potential nightmares? We come back to the beginning: See the first paragraph of this post, and click on the links for the first two posts on this topic, and instead of nightmares of your wedding day, you’ll only have pleasant dreams. Awww…

In the previous post on this subject, we covered how to determine if you need a day-of wedding coordinator – a planner whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, that any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly, and any emergencies that pop up are overcome. If you’ve decided that you indeed do need a day-of coordinator, here’s how to make sure you get a good one, and, more specifically, someone who’s going to be able to execute the vision of your wedding beyond just making things a basic and stiff event, like the old album cover art below suggests.

First, just a word about why we – a group of DJs – are writing this, and feel we can comment with authority: Over our years of experience performing at weddings in New York City and the surrounding area we’ve seen that there’s so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional formal (and many would say stuffy) wedding. Because we’ve performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

Again, in the first post on this topic we covered how to know if you need a day-of person. So, here we go with our second post: how to ensure you hire a wedding planner who knows what she or he is doing:

1) Experience Matters, But Not Just Any Experience – Of course, most of you will know that you’ll want a day-of planner with a good amount of experience at this kind of work. But many couples don’t think further than this, and you should. Specifically, make sure that the day-of person you hire has experience at executing a wedding schedule that is like the one you are having – be it for the same size wedding, with the same style, and at the same kind of location. For example, if your wedding tends to be on the less traditional end of the spectrum and you don’t want certain components of the “usual” wedding such as a bridal party introduction, an announced entrance at the start of the reception, or a cake cutting, you want to make sure the planner has practice executing these kind of more eclectic timelines with ease and smoothness, and not defaulting to the more “standby’ schedules by the end of the wedding because they feel the wedding “needs it”, since that’s all she or he is used to seeing at a reception. To ensure you find out what kind of experience a wedding planner has, you shouldn’t have to dig too deeply. A phone call or email exchange can be sufficient to find this out, and if you get to the stage of an in-person interview, make sure to ask the planner what kinds of weddings they feel most comfortable planning, and which kinds they’ve been a part of the most. Any planner worth their weight in datebooks and PDAs should detail this for you, as well as give you some couples’ references.

2) Get Someone Good With Control, But Flexible, Too – Being an in-control decision maker on the day of the wedding is very important, especially if emergencies pop up, but being too quick to exclude moments thay may occur just to stick to the schedule can often squelch the energy of the event. A good day-of planner will know when to back off and let things flow for a bit. For example, if a guest not on the schedule wants to give a last-minute toast, you want to make sure that the planner will at least ask the couple if this is okay, as opposed to being so concerned with timing that the planner simply tells this guest that it can’t be done. Another example – more close-to-home for us DJs – is when a dance set is scheduled to end for a dinner course but the energy is still high and the dance floor is still full, you don’t want a day-of coordinator who tells the DJ to immediately fade out the song and tell everyone to take their seats. Great day-of planners will be sure to have a quick decisions, but often that decision needs to be to back off control for a bit. So, how do you determine if a planner will have this sort of ability? Asking their references is a good way to find out; asking their boss is another way, if they’re from a larger company. But simply telling them directly hat you expect this(and, if you don’t talk to them much between hire and the day of the wedding, now and then repeating it) is the best way to ensure they keep it in the forefront of their mind on the day of the event . 

3) If Your Day-Of Planner Is a Friend, Be Honest With Yourself - You might know a friend who has some experience with day-of planning, and often this is a way to save money, or just help out a person you like. This is great, but make sure your frugalness and/or altruism doesn’t blind you to the possibility that the friend might not know at all what they’re doing. We’ve DJ-ed weddings before where friends (or friends of friends) have been doing the day-of planning and it quickly became obvious from their running severely behind in the schedule, or from the lack of their presence at key moments in the event, that they were completely overwhelmed. It might be tough, but you should ask these friends or acquaintances directly about their experience, or at least ask others about it. If the friend takes offense to being asked about their background with day-of planning, well, then you already know something about their fragile temperament, and this might make you think again about having them guide the flow of your wedding.

4) Learn the Fine Print About The Planner You Want - When you’ve found a good day-of coordinator you’d like to hire, make sure that you know what you are getting in the deal. If they are good at what they do, chances are they are in demand, and this can bring up a few areas of potential difficulty. For example, a planner like this may charge more for overtime, or may only allow a certain number of consultations for the intial fee. Also, they might double-book during a day, and if yours is the later wedding and there’s traffic on the highway that afternoon, they could be arriving late. We’re not saying these planners aren’t worth their money or that it’s not worth dealing with their busy schedules, but make sure you ask them how available they are before you sign the contract, just so you’re both on the same page.

Now, just in case you’re still thinking of going with the planner you think might not be all that great, in the next post, we’ll cover the reasons why not having any day-of coordinator is better than having a bad one.

While the old wedding music album cover image pictured below might be sweetly anachronistic, most couples' idea of a perfect wedding is not probably not that cliche and storybook-ishly square. But right up until today – whether a couple is planning a celebration that's very formal, more casual, somewhere in between, or entirely unconventional – couples still have a very idealistic image of their wedding day, and with it, what they believe they will need to help make it a reality.

A major piece of helping ensure their vision goes just as they want is the wedding planner. From working with so many couples on their weddings over the years, we've found that those who use or do not use long-term wedding planners have a large variety of reasons for it that are hard to predict – sometimes the couple is having a small wedding, but they're living on opposite coasts and need a "point person" to help bring ideas together. Sometimes there are large weddings that have many unusual elements to them, but the couple doesn't hire a wedding planner because they simply don't want to pay the money, or they get a friend or relative to do the job. In other words, hiring a long-term wedding planner seems to be a decision that often goes beyond what the DJ sees in how he or she helps a couple with their wedding schedules and timelines.

However, it is much easier for us to give you some valuable and some not-too-obvious advice on "day-of" wedding coordinators – planners whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, and so any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly or any emergencies that pop up are overcome. Our experience DJ-ing has taught us that – especially in New York City and the surrounding area – there's so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional, Protestant-ish wedding like the image on the album cover above hints at. Because we've performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

In this post, we’ll cover the first topic: How to determine if you need a day-of coordinator.

1) Take a Step Back From It All - Much of this choice boils down to common sense. But, often that is the first thing to get lost at the start of wedding planning as couples begin contemplating the mountain of preparations needed to pull off a great celebration. Understandably, many couples think that they’d better have some kind of “insurance” that all they’ve been planning for is executed smoothly, and that is where they often start discussing whether to have a day-of person. However, if you take a step back and think about the wedding in term of its size, style, and locations and components, you can often see fairly clearly if you will really need that extra help.

If your wedding is going to be small (we've found that "small" ends at about 100 guests), the style is going to be fairly casual, and the components of the event will be at the same location, it makes sense to think you won’t need to spend the money on a day-of planner, since often the venue will have a maitre'd to oversee the day's schedule, or, if the wedding is really low-key, the job of making sure things stay on-track can be given to a member of the bridal party. However, if the wedding is larger than 100 guests, if there are noise restrictions or other unusual preferences that need to be accounted for, or if there are several atmospheric touches during the occasion (anything from an obscure music set, slideshows, the bride and/or groom's clothing changes, live performers such as dancers, specialty drinks, extensive décor, etc.), then a day-of coordinator will definitely make more sense.

Basically, the important thing here is that if your wedding is going to be big, or if it's going to be small but will have several unusual moments or moments that need to be sensitively choreographed, look into a day-of planner. (Or if you have an existing wedding planner, see if they can be there for the actual day.)

2) Investigate Your Venue's Level of Service - If you think about the type of wedding you want and still are unsure about whether to hire a day-of person, the next area to look at to help you decide is the level of staff service offered at the venue you choose or have chosen. We’ve DJ-ed at venues all over the metropolitan New York City area, and there definitely is a range of how much the maitre'd at a particular venue will be involved in keeping the wedding schedule moving or helping you plan it ahead of your wedding date.

Sometimes there simply is no maitre'd, as certain venues are purely space rentals – these have no staff, only managers, and the managers are rarely on-site for the entire event. Other venues that have a maitre'd may have the type that is more "hands-off" – he or she doesn't get involved in schedule-keeping the day of, only schedule-making in the weeks before so they can make sure their staff gets the food out on time. Lastly, of course, there are venues where the maitre'd is quite involved in keeping everything flowing smoothly, and in a way is the de-facto day-of coordinator.

Therefore, make sure you ask your venue or potential venue what level of maitre'd service they provide when it comes to the day-of the event and its scheduling. If your wedding is a fairly straightforward celebration, this kind of service might be all you’ll need to keep your schedule flowing well.

3) Use The DJ & MC - Finally, the DJ/MC can do offer his or her input to keep help you build a great wedding day schedule, and they can also help keep it on track during the day of the event. Any DJ/MC who just reads your wedding schedule in an email a week before the event and offers no feedback on it, or simply offers to follow it, has likely either not DJ-ed much, or simply doesn’t care enough. Any DJ who truly cares about your wedding will want to at least want to study the schedule you’ve come up with and tell you that it looks good or not. Most of the time, there will be a few minor things on the schedule the DJ might want to tweak to ensure the couple gets the vibe they want – like asking to leave some time for possibly extending an early dance set if a high-energy crowd is anticipated, or, if it's a very informal wedding, giving suggestions on how to not "shine a spotlight" on moments like first dances and cake cuttings, which the venue might have positioned in their timeline to be grander, more "on display" moments.

In almost every schedule we work on with clients, we notice something that we offer advice on. Sometimes the couple or venue have a reason for doing things the way they do, but, because we asked, then we know. But often, the couple and/or venue will listen to us, and will alter the schedule a bit to incorporate our suggestions – which only seek to maximize the mood the couple wants without disrupting the food service and the other elements of the celebration such as speeches, toasts, slideshows, etc.

So, ask your prospective DJ if they are comfortable collaborating a little on the timeline of the day, and also asking them if they have experience doing this, and what that experience has been. We're not saying that the DJ can be a substitute for a day-of planner at very large weddings with an unusual number of special moments, but for smaller weddings, we do find that a DJ that is comfortable with "flowing" a wedding as well as a maitre'd who takes a more hands-on approach to keeping the day on schedule can be enough so a couple doesn't need to spend the money on a day-of planner.

If, after considering these factors, you think that yes, you do need a day-of coordinator, in the next post we’ll tell you how to make sure they’re actually good.