While the old wedding music album cover image pictured below might be sweetly
anachronistic, most couples' idea of a perfect wedding is not probably not that cliche
and storybook-ishly square. But right up until today - whether a couple is
planning a celebration that's very formal, more casual, somewhere in
between, or entirely unconventional - couples still have a very
idealistic image of their wedding day, and with it, what they believe
they will need to help make it a reality.
A major piece of helping ensure their vision goes just as they want is
the wedding planner. From working with so many
couples on their weddings over the years, we've found that those who use or do not use
long-term wedding planners have a large variety of reasons for it that
are hard to predict - sometimes the couple is having a small wedding,
but they're living on opposite coasts and need a "point person" to
help bring ideas together. Sometimes there are large weddings that
have many unusual elements to them, but the couple doesn't hire a
wedding planner because they simply don't want to pay the money, or
they get a friend or relative to do the job. In other words, hiring a
long-term wedding planner seems to be a decision that often goes
beyond what the DJ sees in how he or she helps a couple with their
wedding schedules and timelines.

However, it is much easier for us to give you some valuable and some not-too-obvious advice on "day-of" wedding coordinators - planners whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, and so any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly or any emergencies that pop up are overcome. Our experience DJ-ing has taught us that - especially in New York City and the surrounding area - there's so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional, Protestant-ish wedding like the image on the album cover above hints at. Because we've performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what
separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3)
that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.
In this post, we’ll cover the first topic: How to determine if you need a day-of coordinator.
1) Take a Step Back From It All - Much of
this choice boils down to common sense. But, often that is the first thing to get lost at the start of wedding planning as couples begin contemplating the
mountain of preparations needed to pull off a great celebration. Understandably, many couples think that
they’d better have some kind of “insurance” that all they’ve been planning for is
executed smoothly, and that is where they often start discussing whether to have a day-of person. However, if you take a step back and think about the wedding in term of its size, style, and locations and components, you can often see fairly clearly if you will really need that extra help.
If your wedding is going to be small (we've found that "small" ends at about 100 guests), the style is going to be fairly casual, and the components of the event will be at the same location, it makes sense to think you won’t need to
spend the money on a day-of planner, since often the venue will have a maitre'd to oversee the day's schedule, or, if the wedding is really low-key, the job of making sure things stay on-track can be given to a member of the bridal party. However, if the wedding is larger than 100 guests, if there
are noise restrictions or other unusual preferences that need to be accounted for, or if there are several atmospheric touches during the occasion (anything from an obscure music set, slideshows, the bride and/or groom's clothing changes, live performers such as dancers, specialty drinks, extensive décor, etc.), then a day-of
coordinator will definitely make more sense.
Basically, the important thing here is that if your wedding is going to be big, or if it's going to be small but will have several unusual moments or moments that need to be sensitively choreographed, look into a day-of planner. (Or if you have an existing wedding planner, see if they can be there for the actual day.)
2) Investigate Your Venue's Level of Service - If you think about the type of wedding you want and still are unsure about whether to hire a day-of person, the next area to look at to help you decide is the level of staff service offered at the venue you choose or have chosen. We’ve DJ-ed at venues
all over the metropolitan New York City area, and there definitely is a range of how much the maitre'd at a particular venue will be involved in keeping the wedding schedule moving or helping you plan it ahead of your wedding date.
Sometimes there simply is no maitre'd, as certain venues are
purely space rentals - these have no staff, only managers, and the managers are rarely on-site for the entire event. Other venues that have a maitre'd may have the type that is more "hands-off" - he or she doesn't get
involved in schedule-keeping the day of, only schedule-making in the weeks before so they can make sure their staff gets the food out on time. Lastly, of course, there are venues where the maitre'd is quite involved in keeping everything flowing smoothly, and in a way is the de-facto day-of coordinator.
Therefore, make sure you ask your venue or potential venue what level of maitre'd service they provide when it comes to the day-of the event and its scheduling. If your wedding is a fairly straightforward celebration, this kind of service might be all you’ll need to keep your schedule flowing well.
3) Use The DJ & MC - Finally, the DJ/MC can do offer his or her input to keep help you build a great wedding day schedule, and they can also help keep it on track during the day of the event. Any DJ/MC who just reads
your wedding schedule in an email a week before the event and offers no feedback on it, or simply offers to follow it, has likely either not DJ-ed much, or simply doesn’t care enough. Any DJ
who truly cares about your wedding will want to at least want to study the
schedule you’ve come up with and tell you that it looks good or not. Most of the time, there will be a few minor things on the schedule the DJ might want to tweak to ensure the couple gets the vibe they want - like asking to leave some time for possibly extending an early dance set if a high-energy crowd is anticipated, or, if it's a very informal wedding, giving suggestions on how to not "shine a spotlight" on moments like first dances and cake cuttings, which the venue might have positioned in their timeline to be grander, more "on display" moments.
In almost every schedule we work on with clients, we notice something that we offer advice on. Sometimes the couple or venue have a reason for doing things the way they do, but, because we asked, then we know. But often, the couple and/or venue will listen to us, and will alter the schedule a bit to incorporate our suggestions - which only seek to maximize the mood the couple wants without disrupting the food service and the other elements of the celebration such as speeches, toasts, slideshows, etc.
So, ask your prospective DJ if they are comfortable collaborating a little on the timeline of the day, and also asking them if they have experience doing this, and what that experience has been. We're not saying that the DJ can be a substitute for a day-of planner at very large weddings with an unusual number of special moments, but for smaller weddings, we do find that a DJ that is comfortable with "flowing" a wedding as well as a maitre'd who takes a more hands-on approach to keeping the day on schedule can be enough so a couple doesn't need to spend the money on a day-of planner.
If, after considering these factors, you think that yes, you
do need a day-of coordinator, in the next post we’ll tell you how to make sure
they’re actually good.