New York DJ

Avoiding "Hora Drama" at Your Wedding, Part 2: Ensuring a Great Dance by Considering Some Often-Forgotten Basics

If you’ve decided to have a Hora at your wedding, we've learned from many years of performing at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings that you then need to make sure you consider a few elements for making the Hora successful that we find couples or even wedding planners fail to address – mainly because these factors are so elementary that they're often not thought about during the overall wedding preparation.

(To help determine what type of Hora to have, or other, less-common but still enlivening ways to include Jewish music at your wedding, read Part I of our “Avoiding Hora Drama” post.)

The Hora, as many probably know, is a type of circle dance that usually results in the bride and groom and sometimes other family members being lifted up in chairs. It has long been popular at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings - something evident from the covers of these two vintage mid-century albums of Jewish music pictured. Part of the Hora's appeal is in how simple it is to create, and how suddenly it can provide a burst of festiveness. So, you might think, what preparations does there need to be? Just make sure everyone’s in the reception room, throw on “Hava Nagila,” have guests grab a few chairs, get a few strong guys and the bride and groom, and Mazel Tov! You’re totally partyin', mensch.

Well, the Hora often seems to happen with that impromptu feel, but just because of that doesn’t mean there wasn’t some planning and choices behind it. Here’s what we've found in are the most important elements often overlooked when it comes to the Hora:

1) Do It Before The Guests Are Too Drunk – Many couples don’t realize as much as they should that too much alcohol and heavy bodies being held aloft in chairs for several minutes could be kind of dangerous. So, if you know your guests are the kind who will be drinking a lot through the night, it might be better to get the Hora out of the way early, at the beginning of the reception, while at least the strongest guys are in control of themselves to not drop anyone. If you know the drinking will be lighter, you have a bit more freedom to do the Hora later in the reception, such as after the main course. If you’re not sure about how much drinking will take place, always assume there will be more, just to be safe, and have the Hora earlier – not necessarily as the first element in the reception, but perhaps in between the first courses or at least before the main course. The one timing recommendation that we can say applies no matter what is to never have the Hora much later than right after the main course, the reason being that not long after this, people are usually a bit tipsy and even tired due to a few solid hours of imbibing and dancing.

2) Always Have the MC Announce It – Though most people, especially in and around New York City, know what the Hora is and what to do when it starts, we find that you usually can’t just put on a well-known festive Jewish song like “Siman Tov” or “Hava Nagila” and have guests suddenly rise to their feet and start singing and dancing like the cast of Fiddler on the Roof. An instance comes to mind where, over our polite objections, a wedding planner insisted we not announce the Hora because, who knows, she figured a movie moment like described above could magically happen. Well, we did what she said, and when the song began, the guests looked around, confused. We knew they were thinking something like, so, wait, do we do the Hora now? A moment later, seeing nothing was going to happen without some guidance, we announced the Hora, and just like that everyone got up happily and started to party. The lesson is simple: Guests need to know the Hora is happening when it is about to happen. They may think it is when they hear the familiar opening melody of a song, but because guest usually don’t want assume too much and risk embarrassment, and because the bride and groom or best man don’t have time to ready all the guests on their own, the reception needs a simple announcement that the Hora is about to begin. This also builds a bit of anticipation as people come out to the dance floor, gives guests a moment to round up some chairs and to get the bride and groom ready, and to get any stragglers back from the bar.

3) Consider How Much Hora They’re Going to Want – Though it’s often difficult to predict how long a Hora will last or how wild a Hora will be, it’s important to spend a few moments at least considering it. Think of your guests a bit – is there a group that you know that really loves Hora dances from other celebrations you’ve attended with them? Or are you having the Hora not mostly because you want it but simply to please your parents or other relatives? Do your guests as a whole tend to be a more rowdy group, or do they need some encouragement to let loose? Do the bride's and groom's sides know each other, or is there not much crossover of friend groups between the two sides? Considering factors like this may help you determine how long of a Hora should be played, and if the traditional songs can go deeper than the usual favorites or if there should be simply a quick medley of the most familiar festive Jewish songs. Once you’ve decided on the length and type of songs, or if you simply can’t determine it – you can then, in the case of the former situation, ask if your DJ has the appropriate length and/or song selections you need, or, in the case of the latter situation, make sure the DJ is prepared with a variety of songs to play it by ear and let the MC know to be ready to possibly encourage the crowd a bit if they're a little shy.

Avoiding “Hora Drama” at Your Wedding, Part 1: Determining What Kind of Hora Music Is Right for You

Because we've DJ-ed at many Jewish - and/or partly Jewish - weddings over the years, we’ve become quite familiar with the importance of the Hora - the spirited traditional circle dance that usually results in the bride and groom being lifted on chairs into the air during the reception. But often, it’s not just making sure the dance is included that’s important – also of concern to the couple is where to place the dance during the reception, or how long it should last, or if it should take a less or more traditional style. And sometimes, there are couples who wonder if they should even have a Hora at all.

Basically, clients have different expectations when it comes to the Hora, and they often turn to us for advice since we have much experience orchestrating many styles and lengths of Hora dances. Here are a few tips to consider that we think will make you come to a more definite decision on what kind of Hora is right for you – from a 20 minute klezmer blowout dance marathon to, perhaps, no Hora at all but instead simply a few old and new Jewish tunes sprinkled throughout the wedding.

1) Don’t Underestimate the Old Favorites – Some couples, when first thinking about the Hora, wearily  roll their eyes and tell us they probably have to "throw it in" to satisfy the parents or to give their wedding a respectful nod to tradition. These couples often feel the typical songs in the Hora, usually performed with the klezmer, like "Hava Nagila," "Siman Tov," and "Ose Shalom," just to name a few, are either too square, or the couple is sick of hearing them at events over the years and want to steer clear of what they think will be a stale moment. And while we’re always sensitive to the overplayed - or simply to a couples specific tastes - we often gently tell clients skeptical or pessimistic about the traditional Hora (which, on average, lasts about 10 minutes with medium-sized crowds) to imagine the mood that will be present during the reception – the guests in an exuberant (and often somewhat liquored-up) mood, the lights low, the music pumping. In this festive environment, a well-timed, traditional Hora usually raises the energy. Keep in mind, the Hora is about your guests wanting to celebrate you, so this might be a time to go "big" and familiar so they all can be included.

2) Look Beyond the Klezmer – Some couples, after considering the first point, still feel they want a less traditional Hora. They want to have the circle dance and to be lifted up in chairs, but they want a more original soundtrack – using songs the crowd will know, but that are performed in an unexpected way. In this case, we tell these clients that there are plenty of  killer cover versions of many of the well-known Jewish songs listed above. Probably the most famous, “Hava Nagila,” has many great cover versions out there, from futuristic-sounding electronic house remixes, to hip-hop renditions, to jazzy lounge remakes. A recent popular cover of the song was done by a young British R & B singer, Lauren Rose, and was a huge hit in England a couple winters ago. A version of "Hava Nagila" recorded much earlier but that still sounds quite badass and hip is Dick Dale’s surf guitar instrumental version. Stringing together a few old favorites covered in unique ways - or simply repeating one of these songs twice or three times if you want a shorter Hora - offer a way to be more offbeat but also not baffle the crowd with your Hora music.

3) Use A Dash of Jewish Music, Even if You're Not Having a Hora – There are still those couples - often who aren’t very religious or who are only having partially Jewish weddings - who don’t want a Hora at all, but do want a bit of Jewish music of some sort played at their reception or cocktail hour. For these couples, we recommend playing some of the aforementioned cover versions of well-known songs in a style or styles that they enjoy, or playing a few klezmer songs here and there throughout the night to offer a nice reminder of heritage but not so much as to get people up and dancing, or still yet to explore new Jewish music in a variety of genres that may nod to tradition a bit in sound and/or lyrics. A great example of this last category is Matisyahu, an orthodox Jewish singer who has gained worldwide notoriety for his fusion of a sunny reggae dancehall sound with lyrics about his devotion and faith.

Below are some examples of songs mentioned here - first, covers of "Hava Nagila" by Lauren Rose and then by Dick Dale - and last a great tune from Matisyahu, "Jerusalem (Out of Darkness Comes Light)."

Lauren Rose - Hava Nagila (Baby Let's Dance)

Dick Dale - Hava Nagila

Matisyahu - Jerusalem (Out of Darkness Comes Light)

Hiring a Non-Cheesy DJ: How to Make Sure the DJ You Hire for Your Event Actually Likes Music

Trying to determine if your DJ likes music may sound silly – if they're DJs, a passion for music, or at least for a few styles of music, is a given, right? Well, unfortunately, it's not. Over the years of being in the mobile DJ business in the New York City metropolitan area, we've seen first hand - and heard from many clients - that often DJs and DJ companies don't seem to put a lot of attention to diversifying their playlists or taking the time to create an original mix of songs that is both accessible and fresh.

You probably know the kind of DJs I'm talking about – the cheeseball who cracks lame one-liners and wears a "cur-razy" silver sequined suit to incite you to getting up to dance to tired disco hits; or the cooler-than-thou hipster behind the turntables that yes, really knows his one genre of music, but, unfortunately, that’s all he knows, and so he plays it to death all night; or the DJ company that comes with a bunch of “party motivators” dressed in sexy or silly costumes and practically rips you out of your chairs after dinner, bullying you into dancing to a generic mix of recent Top 40 singles.

Yes, these are all things we’ve either witnessed or have had clients witness. Perhaps you have as well. And seeing this kind of thing calls into question that very basic assumption that a DJ actually likes music. If more of them did, maybe they'd be able to switch between genres more impressively, or need less gimmicks to cover up the limp quality of their song selections.

You’d think that even if a DJ or DJ company wasn’t that into the songs and instead more into the entertainment or MCing part of an event, at least they’d put a little time in to freshen up their playlist a bit for the events at which they spin. But this takes a bit more effort – to do it, you often need to meet more than once with a client to learn more about their specific musical preferences, or you need to spend time discovering what songs are popular in a newer or vintage genre that you might not be that familiar with. It’s much easier for these DJs or DJ companies to simply stay in their limited musical comfort zone, or to “help out” lame songs by doing something like having party motivators put on plastic dog masks and bark at guests as the DJ spins "Who Let the Dogs Out." (Unfortunately, that's a real anecdote about a DJ company that we recently heard from a client.)

So, to help you find someone who’s actually excited about crafting a playlist for your event instead of relying on a tired, limited, or a one-size-fits-all mix of songs, here’s a few questions you can ask when you interview DJs or DJ companies for your event. We welcome these questions from clients, and the good thing about asking these questions is that after you do, you should know from the DJ’s answers rather quickly whether they’re enthusiastic about music or certain genres of it rather quickly – luckily, passion tends to be hard to fake.

1) Ask The DJ What They Like to Listen to On Their Own – You can quickly find out a little information about a DJs personal preferences if you ask them this question. While they may tell you about songs or artists that you haven’t heard of, or ones couldn’t play at your event (the DJ may even be aware of this and mention it to you, just so you don't get worried), getting an indication of their private tastes can be a window into seeing how unusually deep they are into a few types of music, or be the start of a slightly too detailed but endearing story about their large vintage record collection that's threatening to take over their apartment. These answers are both good indicators that there's a real enthusiasm for music going on there. Or, on the other hand, this question could result in an answer from the DJ about how they really dig the newest popular dance songs, like that new one "Tonight's the Night" by The Black Guy Peas, and you'll try to not crack your smile or a laugh since they don't even realize they got the name of the song and the band wrong. You get the idea - either way, whether the answer's good or bad, after asking this question you’ll probably have a better idea of what the DJ is more familiar with musically, and what they’re not.

2) Ask Them How They Got Started – This is a great way to see where their experience and motivation is coming from. In the answer, you might get a pleasant story about how the DJ was inspired by how his father would sit down by the record player and share his soul 45s with him when he was a kid. Or, again, on the other hand, you might find out that the DJ mostly runs a computer printer replacement cartridge business but DJs because his brother recently left him with the equipment and song library after moving to Arizona, so hey, why not? Now, this kind of answer doesn't automatically mean a DJ like that doesn’t enjoy music a lot, but it probably also means that his motivation lies more in seeing entrepreneurship opportunities than it does in crafting an original mix of songs for several hours.

3) Ask Them What They Like Best About DJing – By asking this question, you can often see where a DJ’s specific passions are. Some may tell you they love the preparation of listening to the requests of the client and thinking about how they will likely fit these in with the songs that the DJ already feels will work for that client. Others may tell you they really enjoy that they’ve learned to move around organically between genres of music that one might not think would go together automatically, and in doing this, feel they make guests appreciate songs a little more that they might not have before. Or, some might give you a vague and slightly hesitant answer about how they love “just...playin’ the music…for the crowd…and, you know…just playin’…all kinds of great tunes.” In this case, it’s a safe bet that their passion is simply collecting your check at the end of the event.

What We've Learned About Day-Of Coordinators for New York City-Area Weddings, Part 3: The Potential Nightmares of Hiring a Bad One

In the last two posts on this topic, we discussed, first, how to determine if you need a day-of wedding coordinator, and then, second, how to make sure you get a good one. Here, in our third and final entry, we cover the reasons why a bad day-of person is almost always worse than having none at all, and, if they're really bad, could even have you shouting the title of the vintage Northern Soul record below: "Please Stop the Wedding!"

Before we break down these reasons, please note that we are discussing only day-of coordinators - not traditional wedding planners who work with clients to arrange their event from start to finish. Here we’re talking about a person who is concerned with scheduling, putting out fires, and making sure things run smoothly on the day or days leading up to the wedding. And, once again, we feel that we've got some authority to address this topic since in DJing all types and sizes of weddings in New York City and the metropolitan area for many years, we've seen an incredible range of good, so-so, and very bad day-of people, as well as the fact that we ourselves have done wedding planning and schedule coordination on our own.

So, here we go, why a bad day-of person is really a bad thing:

1) The Couple Will Be Paying for Screw Ups – The most obvious reason that it’s worse to have a bad day-of coordinator than none at all is that if they screw things up by, say, forgetting specific instructions from the bride about a last-minute change to the flower arrangements, or for some reason is passionately insisting the DJ play the recessional song while the officiant's still talking, it could become not just an awkward or uncomfortable moment for the couple and their guests, but it’s also costing money, as most of these coordinators aren't known to work "pro bono." But if the couple did things themselves, or allowed vendors you trust to deal with their parts of the scheduling and flow alone, while it might be a little more work, at least they’d have a smoother day, and be saving money.

2) If There’s Not Enough Control, It Puts Last-Minute Pressure On Vendors – If, from the start, vendors are expected to do certain things at the wedding, they’ll know that they need to follow-through. For example, as DJs, if we know that there will be no day-of coordinator, we prepare for a wedding by asking many more questions and making sure to get these answers from the couple about how their wedding will be flowing, and make sure that all is in place for us do act as a de-facto day- of coordinator of the event timeline, as well as being a great DJ and MC. But if we’ve been told all along that there will be a day-of coordinator taking care of this, we might not be as ready for suddenly being put into the role of taking over another job all night, and it could effect and conflict with our expected jobs of DJing and MCing. This example applies to all vendors equally – florists, caterers, the officiant, etc. Invariably, when there’s a day-of coordinator, vendors are told this ahead of time at some point, and vendors assume they can at least use the day-of  person as a “go to” guide during the night. If the coordinator then doesn’t have any authority, or is in over their head, or leaves early or often, the vendors then are left to co-ordinate things themselves, and the event may not run nearly as smoothly.

3) If The Coordinator Is In Control But Inexperienced, It Creates Potential Conflict With Vendors – A good day-of wedding coordinator knows how to balance their authority and expertise on “flowing” a smooth event, but at the same time deferring - when appropriate - to the expertise or insistence of a vendor like a florist, caterer, or a DJ. A bad day-of person will not take advice from a vendor, even if the vendor may be trying to steer the coordinator away from a potential awkward moment for the wedding. For example, we had an experience at a popular city venue recently where the day-of person told us to play dance music so the guests would dance as they came down the narrow and steep staircase from the cocktail area to the reception room. It seemed like she envisioned it to be normal for the guests to be already dancing as they came down the stairs. First, simply from our insurance company’s standpoint, this would be a nightmare. Second, even though it was in the city, this is not a Broadway musical version of a wedding, this is a real wedding! But this day-of person insisted, over our objections, that we do this, so we ended up having to make a potentially contentious executive decision and not do what she suggested. Instead we played bouncy and lively music as the guests entered the room, but not full-on dance music, and the client was happy. We knew they would be, since this is what they had told us they wanted from the start! This kind of dicey situation is also equally applicable to all vendors at a wedding: A bad day-of coordinator may have clunky, or overly-ambitious, or inappropriate ideas – whether it’s simply from inexperience, or from some burning desire to finally use that college theater degree. But wherever it comes from, these misguided notions can often put a vendor’s expertise and loyalty to what the couple said they wanted against what the day-of person suddenly insists the vendor do.

4) Lingering Problems After the Wedding – Okay, so the day-of person was bad, there was a few definite screw-up on her or his part, and now the couple is disappointed and angry. And the coordinator still wants their money. Here’s another battle you’re going to have to fight, good luck! The wedding is over, so shouldn’t the stress be, too? Well, not if the day-of person doesn’t see what they did wrong and you're demanding money knocked off their fee due to the flubbed moments. This is the last thing you want to be dealing with at the airport as you're called to the gate to board the flight to your Costa Rica honeymoon. And if your day-of person was a friend and this situation happens, double the stressful feelings. And these might not be stressful feelings over money so much as over something even more serious - the continuing good health of a friendship.

So, what’s a great way to avoid all these potential nightmares? We come back to the beginning: See the first paragraph of this post, and click on the links for the first two posts on this topic, and instead of nightmares of your wedding day, you'll only have pleasant dreams. Awww...

What We’ve Learned About Day-Of Coordinators for New York City-Area Weddings (Part 2): Avoiding Planners Who Don't "Get" You

In the previous post on this subject, we covered how to determine if you need a day-of wedding coordinator – a planner whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, that any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly, and any emergencies that pop up are overcome. If you’ve decided that you indeed do need a day-of coordinator, here’s how to make sure you get a good one, and, more specifically, someone who's going to be able to execute the vision of your wedding beyond just making things a basic and stiff event, like the old album cover art below suggests.

First, just a word about why we - a group of DJs - are writing this, and feel we can comment with authority: Over our years of experience performing at weddings in New York City and the surrounding area we’ve seen that there's so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional formal (and many would say stuffy) wedding. Because we've performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

Again, in the first post on this topic we covered how to know if you need a day-of person. So, here we go with our second post: how to ensure you hire a wedding planner who knows what she or he is doing:

1) Experience Matters, But Not Just Any Experience - Of course, most of you will know that you'll want a day-of planner with a good amount of experience at this kind of work. But many couples don't think further than this, and you should. Specifically, make sure that the day-of person you hire has experience at executing a wedding schedule that is like the one you are having - be it for the same size wedding, with the same style, and at the same kind of location. For example, if your wedding tends to be on the less traditional end of the spectrum and you don't want certain components of the "usual" wedding such as a bridal party introduction, an announced entrance at the start of the reception, or a cake cutting, you want to make sure the planner has practice executing these kind of more eclectic timelines with ease and smoothness, and not defaulting to the more "standby' schedules by the end of the wedding because they feel the wedding "needs it", since that's all she or he is used to seeing at a reception. To ensure you find out what kind of experience a wedding planner has, you shouldn't have to dig too deeply. A phone call or email exchange can be sufficient to find this out, and if you get to the stage of an in-person interview, make sure to ask the planner what kinds of weddings they feel most comfortable planning, and which kinds they've been a part of the most. Any planner worth their weight in datebooks and PDAs should detail this for you, as well as give you some couples' references.

2) Get Someone Good With Control, But Flexible, Too – Being an in-control decision maker on the day of the wedding is very important, especially if emergencies pop up, but being too quick to exclude moments thay may occur just to stick to the schedule can often squelch the energy of the event. A good day-of planner will know when to back off and let things flow for a bit. For example, if a guest not on the schedule wants to give a last-minute toast, you want to make sure that the planner will at least ask the couple if this is okay, as opposed to being so concerned with timing that the planner simply tells this guest that it can't be done. Another example - more close-to-home for us DJs - is when a dance set is scheduled to end for a dinner course but the energy is still high and the dance floor is still full, you don't want a day-of coordinator who tells the DJ to immediately fade out the song and tell everyone to take their seats. Great day-of planners will be sure to have a quick decisions, but often that decision needs to be to back off control for a bit. So, how do you determine if a planner will have this sort of ability? Asking their references is a good way to find out; asking their boss is another way, if they're from a larger company. But simply telling them directly hat you expect this(and, if you don't talk to them much between hire and the day of the wedding, now and then repeating it) is the best way to ensure they keep it in the forefront of their mind on the day of the event . 

3) If Your Day-Of Planner Is a Friend, Be Honest With Yourself - You might know a friend who has some experience with day-of planning, and often this is a way to save money, or just help out a person you like. This is great, but make sure your frugalness and/or altruism doesn't blind you to the possibility that the friend might not know at all what they're doing. We've DJ-ed weddings before where friends (or friends of friends) have been doing the day-of planning and it quickly became obvious from their running severely behind in the schedule, or from the lack of their presence at key moments in the event, that they were completely overwhelmed. It might be tough, but you should ask these friends or acquaintances directly about their experience, or at least ask others about it. If the friend takes offense to being asked about their background with day-of planning, well, then you already know something about their fragile temperament, and this might make you think again about having them guide the flow of your wedding.

4) Learn the Fine Print About The Planner You Want - When you've found a good day-of coordinator you'd like to hire, make sure that you know what you are getting in the deal. If they are good at what they do, chances are they are in demand, and this can bring up a few areas of potential difficulty. For example, a planner like this may charge more for overtime, or may only allow a certain number of consultations for the intial fee. Also, they might double-book during a day, and if yours is the later wedding and there’s traffic on the highway that afternoon, they could be arriving late. We’re not saying these planners aren't worth their money or that it's not worth dealing with their busy schedules, but make sure you ask them how available they are before you sign the contract, just so you’re both on the same page.

Now, just in case you're still thinking of going with the planner you think might not be all that great, in the next post, we'll cover the reasons why not having any day-of coordinator is better than having a bad one.

What We've Learned About Day-Of Coordinators for New York City-Area Weddings (Part 1): Throwing Out Dusty Old Assumptions

While the old wedding music album cover image pictured below might be sweetly anachronistic, most couples' idea of a perfect wedding is not probably not that cliche and storybook-ishly square. But right up until today - whether a couple is planning a celebration that's very formal, more casual, somewhere in between, or entirely unconventional - couples still have a very idealistic image of their wedding day, and with it, what they believe they will need to help make it a reality.

A major piece of helping ensure their vision goes just as they want is the wedding planner. From working with so many couples on their weddings over the years, we've found that those who use or do not use long-term wedding planners have a large variety of reasons for it that are hard to predict - sometimes the couple is having a small wedding, but they're living on opposite coasts and need a "point person" to help bring ideas together. Sometimes there are large weddings that have many unusual elements to them, but the couple doesn't hire a wedding planner because they simply don't want to pay the money, or they get a friend or relative to do the job. In other words, hiring a long-term wedding planner seems to be a decision that often goes beyond what the DJ sees in how he or she helps a couple with their wedding schedules and timelines.

However, it is much easier for us to give you some valuable and some not-too-obvious advice on "day-of" wedding coordinators - planners whose job it is to ensure at the time of your event that everything flows smoothly, and so any sudden last-minute alterations are implemented quickly or any emergencies that pop up are overcome. Our experience DJ-ing has taught us that - especially in New York City and the surrounding area - there's so many more wedding styles out there than the traditional, Protestant-ish wedding like the image on the album cover above hints at. Because we've performed at, and helped create day-of timelines for such a variety of weddings, we know 1) when a day-of coordinator tends to be needed or not, 2) what separates the good ones from the bad ones, and perhaps most surprisingly, 3) that having a bad day-of coordinator can often be worse than having none at all.

In this post, we’ll cover the first topic: How to determine if you need a day-of coordinator.

1) Take a Step Back From It All - Much of this choice boils down to common sense. But, often that is the first thing to get lost at the start of wedding planning as couples begin contemplating the mountain of preparations needed to pull off a great celebration. Understandably, many couples think that they’d better have some kind of “insurance” that all they’ve been planning for is executed smoothly, and that is where they often start discussing whether to have a day-of person. However, if you take a step back and think about the wedding in term of its size, style, and locations and components, you can often see fairly clearly if you will really need that extra help.

If your wedding is going to be small (we've found that "small" ends at about 100 guests), the style is going to be fairly casual, and the components of the event will be at the same location, it makes sense to think you won’t need to spend the money on a day-of planner, since often the venue will have a maitre'd to oversee the day's schedule, or, if the wedding is really low-key, the job of making sure things stay on-track can be given to a member of the bridal party. However, if the wedding is larger than 100 guests, if there are noise restrictions or other unusual preferences that need to be accounted for, or if there are several atmospheric touches during the occasion (anything from an obscure music set, slideshows, the bride and/or groom's clothing changes, live performers such as dancers, specialty drinks, extensive décor, etc.), then a day-of coordinator will definitely make more sense.

Basically, the important thing here is that if your wedding is going to be big, or if it's going to be small but will have several unusual moments or moments that need to be sensitively choreographed, look into a day-of planner. (Or if you have an existing wedding planner, see if they can be there for the actual day.)

2) Investigate Your Venue's Level of Service - If you think about the type of wedding you want and still are unsure about whether to hire a day-of person, the next area to look at to help you decide is the level of staff service offered at the venue you choose or have chosen. We’ve DJ-ed at venues all over the metropolitan New York City area, and there definitely is a range of how much the maitre'd at a particular venue will be involved in keeping the wedding schedule moving or helping you plan it ahead of your wedding date.

Sometimes there simply is no maitre'd, as certain venues are purely space rentals - these have no staff, only managers, and the managers are rarely on-site for the entire event. Other venues that have a maitre'd may have the type that is more "hands-off" - he or she doesn't get involved in schedule-keeping the day of, only schedule-making in the weeks before so they can make sure their staff gets the food out on time. Lastly, of course, there are venues where the maitre'd is quite involved in keeping everything flowing smoothly, and in a way is the de-facto day-of coordinator.

Therefore, make sure you ask your venue or potential venue what level of maitre'd service they provide when it comes to the day-of the event and its scheduling. If your wedding is a fairly straightforward celebration, this kind of service might be all you’ll need to keep your schedule flowing well.

3) Use The DJ & MC - Finally, the DJ/MC can do offer his or her input to keep help you build a great wedding day schedule, and they can also help keep it on track during the day of the event. Any DJ/MC who just reads your wedding schedule in an email a week before the event and offers no feedback on it, or simply offers to follow it, has likely either not DJ-ed much, or simply doesn’t care enough. Any DJ who truly cares about your wedding will want to at least want to study the schedule you’ve come up with and tell you that it looks good or not. Most of the time, there will be a few minor things on the schedule the DJ might want to tweak to ensure the couple gets the vibe they want - like asking to leave some time for possibly extending an early dance set if a high-energy crowd is anticipated, or, if it's a very informal wedding, giving suggestions on how to not "shine a spotlight" on moments like first dances and cake cuttings, which the venue might have positioned in their timeline to be grander, more "on display" moments.

In almost every schedule we work on with clients, we notice something that we offer advice on. Sometimes the couple or venue have a reason for doing things the way they do, but, because we asked, then we know. But often, the couple and/or venue will listen to us, and will alter the schedule a bit to incorporate our suggestions - which only seek to maximize the mood the couple wants without disrupting the food service and the other elements of the celebration such as speeches, toasts, slideshows, etc.

So, ask your prospective DJ if they are comfortable collaborating a little on the timeline of the day, and also asking them if they have experience doing this, and what that experience has been. We're not saying that the DJ can be a substitute for a day-of planner at very large weddings with an unusual number of special moments, but for smaller weddings, we do find that a DJ that is comfortable with "flowing" a wedding as well as a maitre'd who takes a more hands-on approach to keeping the day on schedule can be enough so a couple doesn't need to spend the money on a day-of planner.

If, after considering these factors, you think that yes, you do need a day-of coordinator, in the next post we’ll tell you how to make sure they’re actually good.

Hiring a Non-Cheesy DJ: Recognizing Policies DJ Companies Have But Aren't Eager to Share

Unfortunately, too many people have a very low opinion of the mobile DJ/MC. People always seem to expect something lame or offensive. The mobile DJ/MC is often considered to be either cheesy, obnoxious, coarse, unfunny, unresponsive, sloppy-looking (wearing jeans to a formal event), schmaltzy-looking (wearing a sparkly suit to any event) or even an unenviable combination of all these bad qualities. For the past few months I have written about this negative image and how to sniff it out and avoid it in a series of posts called “Overcoming DJ Fear,” which you can read here.

But in our mission to make sure you always get a non-cheesy DJ for your event, this post is going to reveal to you a few other things that mobile DJ companies do which you should shy away from, but that you probably didn’t know many regularly do. Yes, most of us fear the aforementioned tacky sparkly suit, or the 8-minute Richard Marx remix played at the height of the wedding reception, or enduring the tired jokes of the MC all night at a corporate event. But there are also certain business policies that many DJ companies have that are quite lame as well. They tend to straddle that line between very shrewd and slightly sneaky. And from what we've heard from our clients who've sniffed out some of these policies in DJ companies, the DJs aren't exactly eagerly bringing them up, so maybe they even feel a bit guilty about them. These policies are not of the obvious variety, such as just the adding of extra fees for bringing additional equipment or performing overtime. No, these policies that are a little more insidious; they're not as automatically thought about by a potential client, but they can adversely affect your event unless you are aware of them and therefore can bring them into the discussion with your DJ, and react accordingly.

(Non-hypocrite alert: Our company doesn’t engage in either of the three practices mentioned below, so we feel comfortable exposing them, in the Obama-esque hope that one day enough clients will demand a higher-quality product from mobile DJs, and that the business as a whole will get some well-needed respect. Okay, end of plug.)

So, here we go:

1) The DJ You Meet With Might Not Be Your DJ – Often, DJ companies, especially the larger ones, will send the company owners – who tend to be the most confident, well-spoken, experienced DJs they have – to an initial prospective client meeting, to impress the customer. This is Business 101, of course. And this may win you over. But, this impressive DJ might not mention that they won’t be there the day of your event. They might give you a phone consultation, take note of your requests, answer all your emails promptly, and then pass all of it on to some other guy in the company. To be fair, this other DJ you get for your event might not be a bad DJ, but if he is going to be doing your event, wouldn’t you feel more comfortable meeting with him instead of having a go-between, where important details could get lost or miscommunicated, such as song requests, or pronunciations of the names of guests to be introduced? So, if you like the DJ you meet with initially during the "sales pitch," make sure to ask if he will be the one doing the event. If not, ask to meet – in person – the DJ who will. If this offer is refused, I’d move on.

2) The DJ May Have Another Gig That Day – Many clients, in focusing on arranging your event, may forget that a DJ business succeeds on booking as many events as the company thinks they can handle well. Again, to be fair, that’s understandable for a business owner. But the problem comes in when a DJ company misjudges what they can handle well, or has a different idea from you of what being able to “handle well” means. To some DJ companies, this might mean just showing up with some generic playlist for your event, since they put all their effort into the event before or after yours. You should be sure to ask if your DJ already has another event on the day of yours, or if they do not, if they do multiple events in a day. It tends to be the larger companies that have the resources (many DJs, some “roadies," a lot of equipment, several vans or trucks) to do multiple-day events, so if you’re meeting with these companies, they’re the ones to flesh out a " line of questioning" on how this may affect your event. If they’re assigning the DJ for your event another event that day, I’d be a little nervous, since it brings in some other potential complications - most importantly travel time to or from the other gig will now be an issue. If the DJ is doing multiple events, make sure that the reassurances of the company satisfy you to the fullest, and think of getting some guarantees of prompt arrival in writing. And make sure to remember that even the most experienced DJ companies can’t predict what the weather, traffic, or highway conditions will be like that day.

3) Free or Easy DJ Consultations May Not Be Guaranteed – Part of the peace of mind of having a DJ for your event is having access to them, of being able to ask them a question or being able to have a responsive line of communication, such as knowing quickly if they found that obscure first-dance song, or what they think about changing the style of music for cocktail hour. This not to say that every element revolving around music needs to be discussed in detail, but it is nice to know that the DJ is regularly available to you if it is needed. Some DJs know they need to be available a lot to clients, and they could charge for it, like some wedding planners do. You may get one free consultation after you hire the DJ, but any others may cost you. Just make sure to ask. If they do charge, this is probably a sign to move on to ne where you can get unlimited commuinication included in your original contract price. If you have a DJ who doesn’t charge, great, but then make sure to ask about their availability, and when is the best time to contact them. This answer, right there, might give you an idea of their schedule, and how open it is. But most importantly, make sure to gently but firmly emphasize that you expect to have a relatively quick line of communication with your DJ. This is not to expect a lightning-quick, 15-minute response to all emails, but at least a 24-hour response is reasonable and should be expected.

(If you've experienced a rather shrewd or sneaky policy from a DJ company that annoyed you and that you'd like to mention to help those needing a DJ for any sort of event - from weddings to corporate parties to fashion shows to art gallery openings - feel free to leave a comment below. Let your frustration known, so others won't have to share it!)

Overcoming DJ Fear, Part 5: How to Steer Clear of a Stubborn DJ

Among many other image problems (which I’ve previously described how to avoid when hiring a DJ; go here to see these posts), we've noticed that unfortunately, the mobile DJ typically considered for events such as weddings or corporate parties is seen by clients as often being abrasive and stubborn: He (let’s be honest, it’s usually a he) is a DJ who wants to play his kind of harsh-sounding or cheesy music all night, he wants play it loud all night, and he doesn’t want to hear your stupid requests during any part of the night.

Okay, so this is a bit of an exaggeration. We all know that all mobile DJs aren't this obnoxious. However, in our years of meeting clients, we’ve heard many, many of them complain about coarse, meathead DJs. So beware, they’re definitely out there. But that doesn’t mean you have get stuck with one. Here’s a few tips on how to determine if you might be meeting with an insensitive DJ, or, instead, someone who’s a lot nicer, reasonable, and more professional:

1) Make Sure the DJ is Versatile: Most DJs are excellent in one or two genres of music, but events like corporate parties or weddings typically last four to six hours, with half of that time often involving dancing. And since these crowds are not like dance club crowds who usually come on a certain theme night to dance to one or two kinds of music, a lack of variety at a corporate party or a wedding reception will quickly get boring. Guests at these events want the DJ to switch it up, to not get stuck too long in any genre. Often we find that it’s this smooth progression from one music type to another throughout the night that increases the energy at an event. It is therefore important to ask the DJ about what genres he feels are his or her strengths, and if he or she mentions many, stress that you will want to him or her to definitely use them.

2) Make Sure the DJ is Willing to Integrate Your Requests Into His/Her Playlist: If the DJ convinces you he or she is versatile, that’s a good start. But this won’t matter if he or she is only willing to play what he or she wants to hear or feels is “cool.” Not suprisingly, DJs tend to have a lot of opinions about music, and many of them hold some genres in high regard, and think quite less of others. Make sure you tell the DJ that you expect if hired that he or she will leave any pretentious attitude and/or even many of their personal "pet" musical preferences that won't fit into the event at the door. Tell the DJ you expect him or her to try to their best to smoothly integrate your music vision with what he or she thinks will work to pump up your kind of crowd. (Of course, expect any self-respecting DJ to wrinkle their nose, outright laugh, or try to steer you away from your musical vision if that vision includes requesting universally lame and cringeworthy music, like '70s soft rock, or New Age Jazz.)

3) Make Sure the DJ is Comfortable With Last-Minute Playlist Changes: DJs, of course, like to build a groove on the dancefloor, and many talented DJs will have a loose sense of what kind of music or mood they want to start with, and what kind of music or mood they want to end with for your event. This is a great strategy and instinct, but, again, corporate events or weddings are not as seamless and interruption-free as a night at a dance club, or even as a night of DJ-ed music at a bar. Often, several times at a wedding or a corporate party, a song will suddenly need to be played that the guests want, and this will get in the way of the DJ's flow. Whether it’s a big group of employees who suddenly want their guilty pleasure ‘80s hair metal power ballad played, or a bride’s sudden demand to spin a classic big band tune to dance a foxtrot to with her uncle, the sudden, out-of-left-field request is a commonplace occurrence the DJ needs to be prepared for, and comfortable with. Thus, you as the client need to emphasize to the DJ that there will likely be some of these moments during your event, and then make sure to pay attention to his or her response. If you notice a bit of decline in the DJ's enthusiasm, you may be in trouble. If you see a poker face, press the DJ a bit more to feel out their thoughts about this. If the DJ tells you that they expect this sort of thing, since the night is about you and not them, then you’re getting somewhere.

Overcoming DJ Fear, Part 4: Determining if Your DJ is Ill-Prepared

(This is another in my series of posts about how to avoid hiring bad DJs. To read the first three posts, locate the "Categories" list at the right, and click "DJ Fear.")

In slang, “ill” often means to be supremely skilled at something. But in the case of this post, the “ill” in ill-prepared isn’t a good thing. It simply means that the DJ isn’t as ready for an event as he or she should be, like this poor DJ in the photo. But not being well-enough prepared is something that you’ll have to worry about much less if in your meeting with prospective DJs you cover the following areas – ones that I’ve found tend to be the most important in terms of a DJ knowing their stuff:

Insurance Coverage – Ask your DJ if he or she has the minimum requirements for your venue. Don’t be afraid to ask the DJ to fax you a copy of his or her policy; this is something that DJs should be completely willing to show you if they indeed do have insurance. Clients might not be aware that many venues will ask several weeks before your event to see proof of the DJ insurance policy, and if they don’t see it, they won’t allow a DJ (no matter how good!) to perform.

Quality / Appropriate Gear – Find out when meeting a prospective DJ if they have 1) quality gear for your event, and 2) enough of it to handle your event. You don’t want a DJ setting up home audio speakers in wood cabinets for your event, and also, you don’t want a DJ to bring top-of-the-line equipment to your event, but only have one mixer downstairs for a dinner reception when you also need one upstairs for a cocktail hour! To help determine if the DJ is well-prepared in both of these areas, ask them to write down a list of what (and in what amounts) they intend to bring with them after you describe your event. This requires you, though, to prepare for the DJ, in that you should get him or her accurate dimensions and location(s) of the venue in which the DJ will be performing. Then, do a little internet research on the kind of equipment they are using, and make sure it is trusted and generally good. You don’t need DJs to bring a gold-plated mixer, but you should be confident that their gear does not have a history of technical problems or is considered the Ford Pinto of pro audio equipment. Also, contact your venue and ask what past DJs usually have brought for past similar events, and compare the amounts on your prospective DJ's list to see if it roughly matches.

Back-Up Gear / Back-Up DJ – Make sure to verify that a DJ brings back-up equipment in case of a system failure, as well as can line up someone as a replacement if they are unable to perform at the event. It might seem a bit paranoid to ask this long before your event, but if something doesn’t work technically the day of, or if the DJ suddenly gets sick, you’ll be glad you made sure the DJ had this area thought of for you.

Knowing Your Requests – Has the DJ studied your music requests for integration into your event? This one is the hardest to verify, as it usually can only be seen after the DJ is hired. The best way to ensure DJs familiarizes themselves with your requests is to agree before you hire them that you will check in with them in a reasonable amount of time and ask to hear what they thought of the music, where they think it will work during the event. You should not expect an intimate, life-long familiarity with your requests (unless they are fairly mainstream, then this step might not be needed), but you should expect that the DJ has listened to your requests enough that it can be brought in smoothly with music the DJ knows already and you want to hear. This point is especially important when the DJ is going to be spinning a type (or types) of music that he isn’t familiar with, which often is the case with multicultural events. (For more on this, please see this previous post about hiring DJs for multicultural events.)

Experience / Background – Ask the DJ about their experience – what kind of events they’ve played, for how long, and what their “style” is. Some clients I’ve met with want a club-style DJ for their wedding so it feels more unique, other clients I’ve encountered want a Top 40 DJ for their corporate event so things don’t get too esoteric – so be sure to inquire as to if they have the kind of experience that can pull off the mood you want for your event.

Overcoming DJ Fear, Part 3: (Don’t Always) Pump Up the Volume

This is another entry in my series of posts about how to make sure you can know - and, more importantly, avoid - the most common anxieties clients have about hiring a DJ for events. I previously posted entries on how to get the DJ to have a proper appearance for your event, and also an entry on how to avoid many DJs’ tendencies to play cheesy music and be too “hammy” on the mic.

Next up is another major worry for clients. Many of you probably are familiar with the famous ‘80s old school turntable-scratching anthem “Pump Up the Volume” by one-hit wonder M/A/R/R/S. Unfortunately, long before this song even existed, insensitive lunkhead DJs everywhere have felt that raising the volume is their singular mission at events - and as a result, you go home with your ears ringing for the next 12 hours. It’s gotten to the point that the mobile DJ and irritatingly loud music and have become almost inextricably linked - if a DJ, then, of course, speakers blasting to the point of distortion.

For me, this sad connection is evidenced in how many prospective clients our company has met with over the years who have asked things like, “Could you please make sure to keep the volume at a reasonable level?” or, “Would it be possible to not totally blow us out of the room?” And these requests are often delivered with sheepishness, as if they were asking something absolutely silly, like insisting the DJ not breathe for the whole event.

To make sure the volume doesn't become an issue at your event, first, when you meet with a prospective DJ, be firm about what you expect in terms of volume level throughout the event. Now, by firm, I don't mean be angry or bitchy about it - believe it or not, even DJs have feelings - but make sure to strongly stress your point that proper volume control is important to you.

That said, be specific about what parts of the event the music should be at a softer volume, or if there are certain areas of the venue where the music should be lower for part of the event, or the whole event. You could also take time to explain why: Tell the DJ that the venue where your event is taking place doesn’t allow loud music after a certain time, or explain to the DJ to take care to not place speakers too close to tables where people will be sitting for dinner, or insist simply that you don’t want clients to have lost part of their hearing after your event. However, a reason isn't really necessary. It's your event - just emphasize that it is important that the sound not be too loud during these specific parts of the event. A good DJ will immediately understand this and even empathize with it. And if the DJ doesn’t look like they get it, or even argues with you a bit, repeat yourself, or, simply, don’t hire that DJ! Not being attentive or being argumentative to such a reasonable request might be a sign of hearing loss to come at the event.

Finally, make sure that the DJ is able to turn it up and fill your event space adequately with sound if or when it is appropriate to get a bit louder - toward the end of an event, at an outdoor party where noise restrictions aren’t as strict, or at larger venue spaces - because it can be equally as bad to have a DJ who you can’t hear as much as you would like. The most important thing here is to have the exact or approximate size of the space(s) that the DJ will be playing in on hand at your meeting with the DJ. Then, ask him or her if they have enough equipment to handle it. If it’s an unusually big ballroom like some of the ones we’ve played in over the years, size is essential to know.

No one likes a DJ who’s too loud through an entire event, but, also, no one likes a DJ who’s playing dance songs at such a timid volume that you can hear the dancers' shoe noise more than the music. You need to make sure you get a DJ for your event who isn't either of these - someone who knows when and when not to pump up the volume.