New York DJ

 
On July 24th, New York State’s law allowing same-sex marriages went into effect. Throughout the state, and in New York City, a huge number of couples waited to take their vows in the early morning hours at various marriage bureaus. From the start of the day it seemed every news report on television, the internet, and in newspapers that you came across all remarked strongly on the intense feeling of thrill, giddy disbelief, and often the joyful release of emotions long-held inside.

We feel great that same-sex couples have finally won these new rights, but also, for a company like us that loves to plan and spin at all kinds of unique weddings – be  it same-sex marriages or those “other” kind – and has been doing it for years, this is also exciting for us professionally as well. Recently, Dan and I were interviewed for UK radio, on BBC Radio 1 (and featured in their on-line article), in which we talk about our enthusiasm for same sex weddings. The interview is below, and you can read the article here.

We anticipate there will be a huge increase in same-sex couples wanting to marry, and just like the other couples who tend to be attracted to our approach, gay and lesbian couples are going to want it to be a wedding personalized to them, and not some generic, cookie-cutter party with tired music and over-long or obnoxious MC announcements. We’re excited to what the future will bring, and to get to know what each of these couples see as their vision or vibe for their special day. Whether a couple envisions a celebration that’s more traditional, or wants a large-scale bash at a huge space, or prefers an eccentric, low-key lounge vibe, or desires a cozy gathering at an old converted brownstone – whatever the case, this kind of customization is what has been our specialty for a long time. We’re looking forward to working with more same-sex couples in this way – while also looking forward to integrating new ceremony or reception moments for these couples that may emerge as being popular crowd-pleasers at same-sex weddings

As a DJ company that is already experienced in planning and spinning at same-sex weddings, it’s really going to be fun and special for us to take that experience and match it with the joy and enthusiasm that we know so many gay and lesbian couples will have for planning their wedding, now that they are, after a long wait, official.

BBC Radio 1 Interview with djnyc

At most events that we spin at in New York City and the surrounding metro area – fashion shows, private parties, weddings, corporate mixers, etc. – the photographer is the vendor that we deal with closest. We all know the photographer goes into action when guests are dancing, singing along to a favorite tune, or doing something a bit more unique, like dusting off their breakdancing moves to an old-school hip-hop classic. But the photographer also reacts to the DJ in less obvious ways – as when the MC announces a speech, or when an unannounced moment from the event's schedule is set to occur on song's cue.

Because the photographer is often working in reaction to the DJ, if you're organizing an event, you need to ensure the photographer you hire doesn't interfere with the DJ's performance, as this could prevent the flow of the event from being as smooth as it could be. This does not just apply to an amateur or a moonlighting shutterbug friend you've hired – it can apply to those who have been working at their craft for a long time, as sometimes even these professionals can be inflexible in their ways. Now, we're usually not cynical about photographers – most of the ones we've dealt with at a wide range of events in many years of DJ-ing in and around New York City have been a pleasure to work with. But here and there we do encounter some that, well, don't exactly have their lens caps screwed on right.

Here's the some of the most awkward and problematic things we've seen photographers do – some coming from being too aggressive, others from being too passive – that has directly interfered with our performance, and often, with the flow and feel of the event as a whole:

1) Too Many Group Shots – This is the tactic that we've found will kill the mood on the dancefloor the most, and also the most obnoxious. Whether the photographer is instantly rounding up guests for a group shot as soon as guests begin to sing along or dance close together to a song, or if he or she is being even more obnoxious and calling everyone off the dancefloor into a whole other room, or outside to the front of the venue, for a group shot (yes, we have seen this last example actually happen), it's easy to see how even one moment like this ruins any momentum that is going on to the music. Not to say that it deprives guests of enjoying the rest of the song. And when you're dealing with an event like a more low-key event like a cocktail mixer or a client meet-and-greet, it might even harm things more, because if a few small pockets of dancing break out, a photographer breaking in to bark orders to assemble for a shot might permanently end any more fragile attempts at a little booty-shakin.'

2) Not Aware of Event Schedule – Though the schedules of event are often not running exactly on time, they usually won't vary wildly from a timeline that has been made at least a day or two before the event. This is why it is surprising to us when photographers approach five minutes before the start of an event and ask when the moments will be happening when they are needed. We're happy to go over it with them quickly, or show them our schedules. But if they need more time to discuss it, or re-arrange it, or having to keep reviewing it, this takes away attention we need to put on our job of playing music when, if they had the schedule and studied it a bit in the first place, they wouldn't need to co-ordinate with us as much, or could have done it with us earlier.

3) Smothering the Guests – Of course a photographer doesn't want to miss great or unique moments on the dancefloor, but if they keep immediately jumping in at every pair of guests that throw their hands in the air, it often makes guests – especially with more shy crowds, or people who want to dance a little at more low-key events – reluctant to "let go" like they may want. Also, smothering-by-camera may not be a tactic always motivated by the photographer’s enthusiasm to get every shot, but instead to get a bunch of shots quickly, so he or she can begin taking the night off early.

4) Using the DJ as a Concierge – We're happy to put the photographer's bags behind our DJ set-up, or give them a copy of the schedule of the night and go over it briefly, but if a photographer asks us to do things that require us to neglect our job just so they can relax a bit more, such as wanting us to run into another room and get them from their dinner when they're needed next (yes, this was asked of us recently by a photographer), that's beyond the call of our duty, and way below the call of theirs.

5) Not Allowing "Picture-Free Time" – Toward the end of the night, hopefully all the photos have been taken that are needed, and the guests can have some time to simply move around freely on the dancefloor with no strobes popping, light boxes glaring, or tripods to awkwardly dance around. Now, if a photographer is going to be at the event the entire time, it's great to have them ready in case a great shot develops. Yet, often photographers will shoot an event relentlessly from beginning to end, regardless of the size or uniqueness of a moment, and this can often stifle the mood at the time that the crowd should be at its most loosened up.

Luckily, to avoid each of these potentially disruptive situations, you don't need to do much more than to clarify to your photographer these reasonable expectations – that you don't want group shots done when the dancing is at its peak, that he or she will be getting a copy of the schedule and they should know when they need to be present, and that you expect he or she will not be obnoxiously "in the face" of guests all night. Just the mentioning of this will likely eliminate any tendency a photographer might have to do things like those mentioned above, and the flow of your event will be natural and smooth.

Venues such as reception halls, country clubs, inns and the like are often a popular choice when looking for a place to hold your wedding celebration. These establishments are designed to host weddings and therefore, the thought goes, are more well-equipped and experienced when it comes to dealing with all of the planning, coordination, and often complicated execution that managing a successful wedding celebration involves. Also, "turn-key" venues like this can be cheaper than lofts, restaurants or more eclectic spaces.

Well, not so fast. We’ve DJ-ed for years at all kinds of these venues throughout the New York City metropolitan area. And while yes, having your wedding at a hall or a country club definitely takes much work out of the management of a wedding in that these venues can be a “one-stop shop” for major components of your celebration (the space, the food, a banquet manager) we’ve also found that sometimes – not all the time, but sometimes – the sheer “usualness” of the venue’s normal procedures can lead to inflexibility and a dull "assembly-line" mentality (see the extremely festive photo above of the "Party House") toward events that can get in the way of making your celebration as special as it could be.

Here's the three major ways in which we've found this often happens:

1) They Pack in Too Many Receptions

People sometimes refer cynically to halls and country clubs as “wedding factories” since they schedule many different weddings a day there, and often at the same time. Once, when performing a wedding at one of these venues, one of our DJs returned to the reception room thinking it was the wedding he was working, only to see a moment later that there was a DJ he didn’t recognize already behind the table – whoops, wrong wedding! His was the one next door.

This sounds ridiculous, but since weddings are huge business for these venues, some try to pack in the receptions as if they’re simply a more elaborate karaoke party. And what’s worse, the walls of the rooms in these venues can sometimes be fairly thin – sometimes we’ve even been able to hear the DJ and his booming bass booming in the reception room next to ours. This atmosphere all makes your reception seem not at all special and unique – on a day when that’s what many, if not all, couples want most for themselves and their guests.

So, if you’re set on a banquet hall or any venue that regularly holds weddings, make sure to ask how many other weddings will be around you and how close they will be. Ask to come in on a typical night to see how the venue arranges these weddings. Or, surprise them – just simply dress up a bit, go to one of these venues, and peek inside the place. You’ll quickly know if you like what you’re seeing – if the place keeps a certain amount of respectable distance between the location of the weddings, or if they intend on treating you like newlywed sardines.

2) Their Reception Timeline Might Not Be Best for Your Party

This is something we’ve often seen at venues that do a lot of weddings – the schedule or timeline of the reception is rigidly based on how the venue is used to serving the food courses. Many times, this means that, in order for the staff to more quickly put down courses and take them away, the banquet manager tells couples they need to have dancing sets at certain intervals. For some couples, this is fine. But for others – knowing their crowd won’t want to dance too early in the reception, a desire to have longer, more uninterrupted dancing sets, or simply wanting dancing to being a little later, when people have more drinks in them – these dance sets feel too unnatural or “forced.”

If a couple asks to “alter” the usual template of food service – say, to collapse the time between courses, so the flow of the dinner feels more like you’re at a restaurant – the venue will sometimes tell you that can’t be done. What they aren’t telling you is why they don’t want to do it, and that usually has to do with their convenience, not yours. For example, it’s easier for the staff to clear the tables when people are out on the dance floor. Again, if you don’t mind having two 20-minute dance sets before dinner, no problem – often these sets can be great fun.

However, if you want to plan things a bit more your way, make sure to have an alternate plan to suggest (a meeting with your DJ should be able to help you to plan a night that maximizes the mood you want; we do this regularly with clients), and, if you find the venue is reticent to it, ask why changing things would be difficult. Also, mention what you care about most. For example, you can explain that you don’t mind if people are at their seats when the food is put down and taken away since you’d rather have 10 minutes of sitting down in between courses than 20-minute dance sets after the appetizer and the salad. Sometimes the mangers of these venues, knowing what makes you happy, are very willing to change things around once they know your preferences, even though they're slightly different than what most couples at these venues do. Other times, to these venue managers, requests that mean going off their template are not met with much enthusiasm no matter what, and you might get the sense they don’t enjoy it or will simply ignore it, like when you ask McDonalds’ to make a cheeseburger with light ketchup and no onions.

3) Your Maitre'd Could Be a Hardass

Sorry to be a little harsh, but this is the most accurate way to put it. Unfortunately, we’ve run into this unfortunate situation at halls and country clubs more than a few times. Of course you want your maitre’d to run a tight ship, but not to be a robot or an inflexible jerk. Why would this be a big problem? Simple – because it can squelch great moments during the reception. For example, if the cake cutting is scheduled to happen at 10 p.m. and there’s a killer dance set going and guests are having an orgasmic time, the maitre’d or head waiter should give the DJ a song or two to let the moment breathe or to at least let the DJ finish the song. It’s hard to believe, but we’ve had many a maitre’d come over to us, and, seeing a full, high-energy dancefloor, tell us to cut the music and announce the cake cutting song. When we ask them if we can at least finish up the song, these party-deaf staffers simply huff away or tell us again, tersely, as if we spit in their face, to cut the music. It’s pretty astonishing, the ability to be that numb to a room of people enjoying themselves so throroughly.

To make sure you don’t get a maitre’d like this, ask to meet yours, and emphasize that you as a couple will be happy if the timeline is a little behind if it means a special moment can go a bit longer. If you can't meet the maitre’d beforehand, make this point with the head of the staff , banquet maanger, or whoever is in charge so the maitre’d is sure to get the request. Doing this may eliminate the problem of rigidity, if it’s coming from a place of wanting to make sure you’re happy. If it doesn’t solve the problem, and you still get soem sort of insistence on sticking to the timeline, you know the inflexibility is coming from another place, like a desire to simply want to sleepwalk though a shift. And that usually means it’s time to look for a different venue.

If you’ve decided to have a Hora at your wedding, we've learned from many years of performing at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings that you then need to make sure you consider a few elements for making the Hora successful that we find couples or even wedding planners fail to address – mainly because these factors are so elementary that they're often not thought about during the overall wedding preparation.

(To help determine what type of Hora to have, or other, less-common but still enlivening ways to include Jewish music at your wedding, read Part I of our “Avoiding Hora Drama” post.)

The Hora, as many probably know, is a type of circle dance that usually results in the bride and groom and sometimes other family members being lifted up in chairs. It has long been popular at Jewish or half-Jewish weddings – something evident from the covers of these two vintage mid-century albums of Jewish music pictured. Part of the Hora's appeal is in how simple it is to create, and how suddenly it can provide a burst of festiveness. So, you might think, what preparations does there need to be? Just make sure everyone’s in the reception room, throw on “Hava Nagila,” have guests grab a few chairs, get a few strong guys and the bride and groom, and Mazel Tov! You’re totally partyin', mensch.

Well, the Hora often seems to happen with that impromptu feel, but just because of that doesn’t mean there wasn’t some planning and choices behind it. Here’s what we've found in are the most important elements often overlooked when it comes to the Hora:

1) Do It Before The Guests Are Too Drunk – Many couples don’t realize as much as they should that too much alcohol and heavy bodies being held aloft in chairs for several minutes could be kind of dangerous. So, if you know your guests are the kind who will be drinking a lot through the night, it might be better to get the Hora out of the way early, at the beginning of the reception, while at least the strongest guys are in control of themselves to not drop anyone. If you know the drinking will be lighter, you have a bit more freedom to do the Hora later in the reception, such as after the main course. If you’re not sure about how much drinking will take place, always assume there will be more, just to be safe, and have the Hora earlier – not necessarily as the first element in the reception, but perhaps in between the first courses or at least before the main course. The one timing recommendation that we can say applies no matter what is to never have the Hora much later than right after the main course, the reason being that not long after this, people are usually a bit tipsy and even tired due to a few solid hours of imbibing and dancing.

2) Always Have the MC Announce It – Though most people, especially in and around New York City, know what the Hora is and what to do when it starts, we find that you usually can’t just put on a well-known festive Jewish song like “Siman Tov” or “Hava Nagila” and have guests suddenly rise to their feet and start singing and dancing like the cast of Fiddler on the Roof. An instance comes to mind where, over our polite objections, a wedding planner insisted we not announce the Hora because, who knows, she figured a movie moment like described above could magically happen. Well, we did what she said, and when the song began, the guests looked around, confused. We knew they were thinking something like, so, wait, do we do the Hora now? A moment later, seeing nothing was going to happen without some guidance, we announced the Hora, and just like that everyone got up happily and started to party. The lesson is simple: Guests need to know the Hora is happening when it is about to happen. They may think it is when they hear the familiar opening melody of a song, but because guest usually don’t want assume too much and risk embarrassment, and because the bride and groom or best man don’t have time to ready all the guests on their own, the reception needs a simple announcement that the Hora is about to begin. This also builds a bit of anticipation as people come out to the dance floor, gives guests a moment to round up some chairs and to get the bride and groom ready, and to get any stragglers back from the bar.

3) Consider How Much Hora They’re Going to Want – Though it’s often difficult to predict how long a Hora will last or how wild a Hora will be, it’s important to spend a few moments at least considering it. Think of your guests a bit – is there a group that you know that really loves Hora dances from other celebrations you’ve attended with them? Or are you having the Hora not mostly because you want it but simply to please your parents or other relatives? Do your guests as a whole tend to be a more rowdy group, or do they need some encouragement to let loose? Do the bride's and groom's sides know each other, or is there not much crossover of friend groups between the two sides? Considering factors like this may help you determine how long of a Hora should be played, and if the traditional songs can go deeper than the usual favorites or if there should be simply a quick medley of the most familiar festive Jewish songs. Once you’ve decided on the length and type of songs, or if you simply can’t determine it – you can then, in the case of the former situation, ask if your DJ has the appropriate length and/or song selections you need, or, in the case of the latter situation, make sure the DJ is prepared with a variety of songs to play it by ear and let the MC know to be ready to possibly encourage the crowd a bit if they're a little shy.